1. They feel a connection to themselves. The degree to which a person can be accepting of themselves is as much as they can be accepting – and appreciative – of other people. Self-acceptance is usually rooted in being able to see the immaterial part of you and to appreciate the body that houses it – as for other souls and bodies as well.
2. They see human bodies as extensions of nature, and recognize the ‘oneness’ that already exists between you. Even if they’re not the Love Of Your Life, they can see and appreciate the (wonderfully non-attached) love you can share with one another in the moment.
3. They’re generally happier, healthier and of clearer mind. Emerging and otherwise well-known research is beginning to paint a pretty clear picture: nature is almost essential to emotional and psychological well-being. (People who live in urban areas are more prone to anxiety and depression, people exposed to ‘natural scenes’ aren’t just happier, the “building blocks of their physiological well-being also respond positively.”) And happy people have better sex. Duh.
4. They’re able to connect on a more genuine level. Recognizing the beauty and calmness of being outside requires tapping into a very genuine and core part of yourself – one that comes in handy when you’re trying to connect in a way that’s more encompassing than just physically.
5. You don’t need to be performative for them to be turned on. They probably don’t need, or maybe even like, the whole song and dance of the modern human mating ritual. You don’t have to worry about impressing them, or crafting yourself into looking like someone you’re not for them. The more au naturale, the better.
6. They can appreciate simplicity. And that’s key when it comes to sex. The simplest, kindest gestures like a warm touch or steady eye contact are the building blocks of a profound sexual experience. In the words of Paulo Coelho, “the simple things are also the most extraordinary, but only the wise can see them.”
7. They don’t expect someone else to be flawless, they expect them to be human. They’re comfortable enough with the complexity of their flawed and sacred human bodies to be able to accept and appreciate other people’s – which is important, because people can usually sense when you’re only interested in having a grinding race to orgasm that renders the other body the equivalent of a toy.
8. They’re intuitive. They’re connected to themselves – to their feelings and instincts – and so they’re perceptive when it comes to being aware of other people, which is perhaps the hottest and most important aspect of being intimate with someone: responding to the little micro-cues they don’t even know they’re giving.
9. They’re down for getting messy. They don’t expect to be shielded from the fact that sex is gross. They are painfully aware of the fact that our sewage systems are also our pleasure centers. (What the hell, evolution?)
10. They’re aware of themselves. They know what they want and what makes them uncomfortable, they can interpret whispers of enjoyment or discomfort before they grow into screams, and the ability to self-direct like that is crucial for enjoying sex, and actually enjoying what you’re doing tends to often be the biggest turn on for people.
11. They’re grateful. To feel connected with nature is to be aware of how small you are, how impermanent, and yet how integral. There’s an inherent sense of gratitude that becomes present when you connect to your deepest, truest self, and it’s the same one that’s there when you gaze out at some stunning landscape, and it’s the same one that makes sex truly tender and loving: to be grateful for every motion, and at the same time, grateful just to experience someone else with that much intimacy.
12. They’re present. They see right through the current culture of connected disconnectedness. Their developed ability to disconnect from technology and focus on things that are less immediately gratifying (in exchange for things that are more meaningful) – without disruption – makes them incredible sex partners. They’re down-to-Earth, they’re attentive, aware and grateful. (What else could you ask for?)