The 5 Worst Things About Dating In College
1. It’s the time for your own self-discovery. And maybe that can happen through the different relationships you have, and if so, that’s awesome. But the other reality is that too much time spent busying your mind with dating a bunch of different people without taking a second to breathe and gather yourself before you’re onto the next one… that is a problem. We all know the type. They jump from one person to the next and never even stop to consider what it is that keeps going south.
2. There are four types of “dating” in college. The first where you are casually getting to know one another, though exclusive, you haven’t discussed really getting serious yet. The second, where you have a ring by spring and an M.R.S degree was achieved in the process of your B.A./M.A/what-have-you. The third, a combination of, well, we started off kind of casual, but now I think you’re pretty awesome and I might like to get more serious with you. And fourth, the kind where “date” is just a precursor to a one night stand. The problem? When any of these four mix without both people being on the same page about it.
3. When your only dinner dates are to the cafeteria and the only alone time you get to spend is in your dorm, when your roommate has class. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a cost-free meal and getting it on in the space you have to work with… but many ladies (and gents) prefer to go out on the town with their sweethearts. The routine of campus can get mundane. And unromantic, to say the least.
4. How much of an inconvenience it is to break up. When your friendship circles are overlapping and you have to run into each other every morning on the way to your 8 am, staying in a relationship you’re not completely thrilled with (but not miserable in, either) may be more appealing than having to move on and try to find someone else who actually makes you happy. There are few things worse in college than having an ex on campus (especially a small campus) and don’t get me started on when said ex(es) start dating again.
5. The expiration date. You both know that post-grad, your relationship isn’t going anywhere. You may have even talked about it, and awkwardly agreed without really saying so that it’s going to end eventually. A relationship with an expiration date is one hell of a thing to be able to hold onto without remorse. Knowing that someone doesn’t want to be with you for the long haul is painful no matter how much you insist you’re only interested in a temporary, non-serious thing. At the end of the day, we all hope that this new person we’re seeing may turn out to be ‘the one’ for us, regardless of how much we want to admit it or not. Knowing your relationship is only worthy within the confines of a campus may be the biggest problem yet.
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Will it feel the same when you tell me you love me over the phone? Will the peacefulness of those words still floor me from thousands of miles away?
I was conflicted. It felt like one eye was trying to look away while the other soaked it up. I felt the heat rise in my face. This was wrong. But it didn’t feel wrong.
Any nervous flyer knows the progression of descending panic: bile, sweaty palms, social awkwardness and self-induced sedation.
I know how it feels when the weight of darkness crashes down onto your chest in the middle of the night, and how you wish things would stop spinning because the axis seems tilted now. I know, love, I know.