Thought Catalog
January 11, 2015

Why Dating A Marine With PTSD Was The Best Decision Of My Life

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Flickr, Leo Hidalgo
Flickr, Leo Hidalgo

I started dating a Marine about a year ago now. His service is done, but the lessons they taught him are not. When I first started dating him, he was very secretive about his life as a Marine. But slowly he started opening up about his experiences and how they affect the way he acts.

The first thing he told me is that, among the hazing and bullshit from their drill instructors, they were taught to treat a lady with the upmost respect. This means everything, from opening the car door for you, to locking your door to make sure you are safe at night. Of course this wasn’t something they sat down to discuss I’m sure, but defiantly came out of their training. So yes, my Marine opens the car door for me, and calls me at night to make sure I locked my doors and I’m all set for the night.

The next thing he told me, was about his training. How harsh it was. He had 7 seconds to tie his boots in the morning, or face punishment. He had 10 seconds to shower after a week, that meant walking under a shower and grabbing a towel immediately to dry off. But why is this so great for me? This means now, he treasures the small moments in life so much more. Laughing is such a joy to him, since he never had a chance to do it. If he laughed once, he’s had a fabulous day in his mind. This also means he treasures when we can shower together (for more than 10 seconds), it’s his favorite intimate thing to do.

Speaking of intimacy, there is another thing to mention. He was a virgin, yes, WAS. Until I came in. I don’t think this had much to do with him being a Marine, but it was something I treasured. But what being a Marine DID mean, was that he was beautifully crafted; solid strong muscles, agile and swift. He never had sex before but that didn’t stop the amazing sex he gave. His stamina was surprising at first, he could go and go and go and go if I asked. And because of the “respect a woman thing” I assume, he would never say no. (Also meaning pleasing his woman was his top priority.)

SPEAKING OF PRIORITIES, another lesson they learned was to prioritize or die. You may have heard “This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.” And if you haven’t, I suggest looking up the “Rifleman’s Creed.” It will give you an idea about how much they must put a gun as their top priority. They lose their rifle, you’re in some way losing your life. As a result, give the marine a lovely girl who gives more to his life, he will prioritize her first, just as his rifle. His woman will always be his first priority.

Now to the nitty gritty, and why many woman may opt to date a Marine. The money and benefits. As a Marine I am not sure exactly how much they get paid, but it’s quite good, as it should be for risking your life every day. What is also good is that the money they make they don’t usually have to use. They are fed (though pretty crapily at the ‘Chow Hall’) and when they get a chance to go off base are shipped to places all around the world, that they don’t have to pay for. (In my man’s case, Cali, Tokyo, and unfortunately Afghanistan.) My point being, they have great opportunities to save up all their earnings. As my boyfriend is, and he has quite a lot saved, in hopes to have a stable and comfortable future.
Along with this, if your Marine was injured as badly as mine was, (He’s forever lost vision in his right eye) that means he gets a disability check every month along with his pay that he can save in a bank account. Did I mention they get the best health insurance that carries over to their spouse?

But with disability comes the PTSD. Why is this so great? Well it’s not so much ‘great’ as it is a test of love and compassion. A test that proves whether you deserve all of these qualities they can provide you with. And if you can provide something to their lives. In my case, along with loss of his eye, my Marine couldn’t see the joys in life anymore. The point to it all. But I’ve given him sight to the beautiful things he can now accomplish in a world with me.

These are only a few of the face values I’ve found to be great from dating a Marine. The many others you will have to see for yourselves. TC mark

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