The Differences Between The Newsroom And An Actual Newsroom

Jul. 9, 2012
Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, Chappelle's Show, CNN, Fox News, Comedy Central, and ...

On Newsroom, everyone is attractive. In a newsroom, everyone is fat.

On Newsroom, producers stop what they’re doing to have long, eloquent arguments about the state of America, journalism, and life itself. In a newsroom, producers stop what they’re doing, occasionally, to go to the bathroom. Other than that, they’re really quite busy.

On Newsroom, everyone is a genius. In a newsroom, people use Wikipedia far more than they’d like to admit.

On Newsroom, the office looks like a stylish spaceship blasting off for Planet Internet. In a newsroom, the office looks like, well, a newsroom.

On Newsroom, the entire operation is run by a white-haired, bow-tied kook who seems perennially drunk. In a newsroom… actually, that one’s pretty accurate.

On Newsroom, the anchor just returned from a Caribbean rendezvous with Erin Andrews. In a newsroom, the anchor is Ted Koppel.

On Newsroom, the staff instantly discusses their love lives with people they just met. In a newsroom, no one does that because it’s ridiculous.

On Newsroom, every word is expertly crafted by an genuine genius of dialogue. In a newsroom, people alternate between exhaustion and caffeinated hysteria.

On Newsroom, the anchor is a blustery, opinionated jerk who believes he’s always the smartest guy in the room. In a newsroom, Keith Olbermann hasn’t had a job for months.

On Newsroom, it’s pretty clear that everyone involved is a liberal. In a newsroom… actually, that’s one pretty accurate too.

On Newsroom the boss is so well paid that he can flippantly give away a million dollars in salary. In a newsroom, they’re still trying to figure out how to get people to pay for digital content.

On Newsroom, people have sexy little fights that are a little about the fights but mostly about being sexy. In a newsroom, people, again, are really quite busy.

Newsroom, even with its creative license, is a fantastic good time. A newsroom is neither fantastic, nor a particularly good time. TC mark

image – HBO

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