20 Totally Legit Game Of Thrones Spoilers For Season 4

1. Daenerys’ dragons are taken away by child protective services.

2. Jon Snow starts a ska band called Jon Snow and the White Walkers.

3. Ygritte makes Jon Snow take his GED because she’s tired of him not knowing anything.

4. Samwell pulls a Chris Pratt and gets in insane shape.

5. A spinoff is in the works for Cersei, Sansa, Lady Olenna, and Margaery called The Real Housewives of King’s Landing.

6. Bran’s ability to animorph is fully realized.

7. Jessica Lange, Kelly Bishop and Jessica Walter guest star in an episode as Lady Olenna’s best friends. It’s called The Iron Girls.

8. Joffrey finally comes out.

9. Arya trades her sword named Needle for an actual heroin needle.

10. Beyonce sings ‘Rains of Castamere’ at Joffrey and Margaery’s wedding.

11. Melisandre turns out to be a Scientologist all along.

12. Tyrion and Tywin take a 17-day motorcycle journey across Westeros.

13. Theon gets his groove back.

14. The Hound joins a wild pack of dire wolves to prevent forest fires.

15. In a very special episode, Shae helps Sansa get ready for prom — and both girls realize the powerful friendship only two women can share.

16. It’s revealed that when a guy gets to second base and can’t please the girl, it’s called, “Getting Little Fingered.”

17. Cersei is Varys in drag.

18. Jaime replaces his missing hand, becoming Dr. Claw.

19. The dead Starks have a family reunion in heaven. Shenanigans ensue.

20. Winter never actually comes. It just gets really close.