Why Purity Isn’t Overrated—From Someone On The Outside Looking In

 

It’s always a tad awkward, isn’t it? You’re head over heels in love with Mr. Right, the conversations have grown from talks about the weather to more intimate chats, you just about melt when he calls your phone (may I add, never after midnight), but now it’s time to show your cards. We’re talking numbers here, ladies, and he’s ready to know all about your sexual rendezvous.

As someone who was fairly promiscuous in high school, this is freaking terrifying. Been there, done this and it’s never fun. You flirtingly try to force him to go first, try to change the subject, silently count in your head trying to decide the partners that “don’t really count”, and pray that his number is within a 2 person range of yours. Why do we put ourselves through this misery? Why do we rack up numbers during times of loneliness and despair, only to meet a man worthy of our emotional and physical love and have to painfully reveal our past to him? And why, is everyone okay with it?

Because we’re desperate. Even the classiest, most intelligent, and most goal-driven young women get wrapped up in the desperation of needing someone to…ahem… snuggle with, especially in the midst of vulnerability. It’s human nature—while wrapped up in anxiety and stress, attraction can be overwhelmingly high. Now, let’s connect the dots, what do college students, especially young women, have a lot of? That’s right, Stress! So rather than doing some yoga or Pilates, we participate in some tongue wrestling.

Attending a rather conservative university has enlightened me to the old-fashioned mindset of waiting until marriage, or at least abstaining from random hook-ups. A mindset that has been abandoned and covered under drunken snapchats, sexting, and young women abandoning their morals to move up along social standing. Have you ever had a conversation with your “naïve, goody-two-shoes” friend after a date? You know the one I’m talking about, the one who is still working for that first kiss. The way they see beauty in less-than-smooth first dates and the thrill of holding hands. They see the good in everyone rather than an impending heartbreak that is as sure to occur. That is something, very few of the slightly more experienced of us can identify with and that breaks my heart.

Ladies, stop blaming our counter parts for heartbreaks, unproductive hookups and hump then dumps and get your act together. Choose to do it for the man that one-day will stand at the end of the aisle (hopefully shedding a few tears) or the daughters we will one day have to scold for following in our footsteps or at the very least, do it for yourself.