Thought Catalog
June 30, 2011

The Pros And Cons Of Being Introverted

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What is the issue?

Pro: Acquaintances think you’re smart. Introversion and quietness is for some reason often associated with depth and intelligence, perhaps as the result of our tendency to attempt to fill in missing information where there exists an uncomfortable lack. Whatever the case, if you’re introverted and quiet, people just sort of grant you intelligence before you’ve hardly said a word. They’ll look you in the eye, raise an eyebrow and say “You’re one of those smart people, aren’t you? Got a lot going on in your head, huh,” and shake their head in a sort of respect for the concept of human intelligence; in a sort of disbelief, or something.

Con: Acquaintances think you are upset when they meet you. “What was wrong with her?” they’ll ask your mutual friend once you leave. “Why was she so mad? Is she having a bad day? Jeez.” But what actually occurred was a conversation in which you spoke only when you felt you had something significant to say and you didn’t fill in silences with “Sooooo….” and “Anyways, yeah, um…”

Pro: You’re seen as “chill.” As an introvert, people will see you as a Laid Back guy who Goes With The Flow. The fact that you express yourself less generates the assumption that you’re cool with whatever – you just want to have a good time, you don’t care where, how or with whom.

Con: You aren’t sure if you’re “chill” or “a doormat.” The other side of choosing to forego expressing your preferences is that you begin to have this nagging suspicion that, well, you might be getting walked all over. It’s sort of a weird paradox: you sincerely believe that you really don’t care enough to risk confrontation, but the fact that you don’t care enough to risk confrontation may indicate that you’re just a pussy afraid of confrontation. Thing is, you don’t know which is the correct explanation, and so you aren’t sure if you’re “chill” or actually a “doormat.”

Pro: There seems to be a group of individuals who romantically pursue introverted people almost exclusively. This is probably because introverted and quiet people pique their curiosity while granting the bare minimum amount of insight into their inner-workings. Such a delicate balance is maintained unconsciously by an introvert, perhaps in self-protection, but nevertheless creates an aura of mystery, intrigue, and ‘hidden gifts’ that the pursuer finds irresistible and can’t help coming back for more.

Con: Less people are romantically interested in you. The group of individuals mentioned above is probably much smaller than the faction of individuals who romantically pursue loud or average (w/r/t conversational output) people; being into introverts limits the playing field quite a bit and as such – by comparison – is a sort of ‘boutique’ standard. In other words, if you’re an introvert, there’s a good chance you’re getting laid less than the average Normie.

Pro: You can enjoy a symbiotic, BFF-esque relationship with a loud person. Sometimes if the stars are aligned correctly and the gods are smiling upon us an introvert and an extrovert will meet and an intense and life-affirming relationship will blossom. The two will fit together as simply and perfectly as two pieces of a puzzle – the introvert providing the much needed introspection and quiet deliberation the extrovert lacks, the extrovert being crazy and funny and the really good wingman that the introvert so needs.

Con: Loud people will hurt your soul. If you’re an introvert, being around a particularly loud or talkative individual can be like taking a cheese grater to your soul – it can seriously bug the shit out of you. It’s as yet unknown why this can occur, but it’s certain that sometimes introverts just want quiet, please, if just for a moment, please, will you please just shut the fuck up, please? TC mark

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