Evidence Shows That Climate Change is Going to Destroy Us All
Awesome news, all the glaciers in Glacier National Park are going to melt. USA Today reported that, aside from the disturbing fact that the park’s lost over 100 of its glaciers, down to around 27 from 150 in the late 1800s, some expert research ecologist dude that studies Glacier National Park as his full-time job is saying that the park will be glacier free before 2030. Am I the only person that hasn’t heard about this? The news is almost two years old. Trying to understand why I haven’t heard about this. Does this seem alarming? I feel like this is alarming.
Not sure how it’s going to affect anything. It’ll probably be chill though. Excited for the summers in Seattle to be hotter, sunnier, and possibly under water. Anyways, here’s a study published by National Geographic talking about some more cool stuff. Published almost four years ago, the article reports that the Arctic Ocean will no longer have ice during its summers by the year 2040, much earlier than scientists had originally expected. Which is cool. Now we know when the polar bears are finally going to go extinct, as they tend to chill in the Arctic Circle sometimes. All of the time.
There is also other really awesome news that I recently read in a National Geographic article called “By 2050 Warming to Doom Million Species, Study Says,” which was written six years ago. Surprised I didn’t hear about this earlier. I guess some zany biologists did a kind of ‘comprehensive study’ that spanned “six biodiversity rich regions around the world” and concluded that climate change would destroy over a million species of plants and land animals by mid-century.
I am happy. Over a million species! And the ice caps are going to melt. That is really awesome. I am going to buy a bottle of wine tonight.
One of the coolest National Geographic articles I found, though, was the one called “Arctic Melting Fast; May Swamp U.S. Coasts by 2099.” Undeniably sweet. Wonder what that’s going to look like. Kind of seems like the end of Western Civilization a little. The article and another reporting the same thing say something about Greenland melting and causing the sea level to rise 23 feet, inundating Florida, Los Angeles, Louisiana, London, and every city at sea-level.
That news is outdated though. Stuff published two, four, six years ago. Irrelevant now probably.
But I found another pretty cool article, this one from just a week and a half ago. It’s called “Global Warming ‘Undeniable,’ U.S. Government Says.” Kinda wonder why they’re still unsure about that, but whatever. Here’s a relevant line: “An in-depth analysis of ten climate indicators all point to a marked warming over the past three decades, with the most recent decade being the hottest on record, according to the latest of the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s annual ‘State of the Climate’ reports.”
Cool. I’m sure it’s cool. And I’m sure everyone else will think it’s cool, too. Especially ocean life, as they’re all into drugs now. No, really, shrimp are on Prozac now. Remnants of antidepressant drugs are being flushed into waterways worldwide, making the animals more excited, less existential. I guess the shrimp aren’t acting chill about it, unfortunately. They’re apparently all sketched, getting themselves eaten easier. Wonder if the animals that eat the shrimp get high.
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“You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. “
So many wonderful songs seem to have fallen through the cracks and all but disappeared.
More important than your real-life first love is the fictional first love you experience via your television set.
Well I mean first of all, it’s never a good idea to approach a hot black girl with an opening line about how much you love chocolate!