Thought Catalog
January 26, 2017

This Is The Worst Sex Advice We Give To Guys (And What We Should Tell Them Instead)

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What is the issue?
It’s not just that those titles are clickbait or insulting to women, it’s that the whole idea is creepy.
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Unsplash

Wouldn’t you cringe inside if someone asked you, “How can I MAKE her have sex with me?” or, “How can I take her to pound town?” (Yes, guys actually say, “pound town.”)

I’m not one to be a prude about sexuality, so it’s not the vulgarity of the terms that makes me cringe. It’s just that they are undeniably creepy. Would you trust someone that spoke like that about sex to be alone with your sister? There’s a hidden intent in those questions that screams of manipulation, objectification, and neediness.

Women want to have sex, some even with you. Remember that sex is a win-win situation, no convincing need I cringe when I those click-bait “get laid now” headlines. I know they’re used to draw traffic, but it’s sad that they work so well. And I cringe even more when I have to field those same types of questions directly from men.

Headlines like “Ten Ways to Make Her Sleep with You,” are selling the creepy idea of making women want to have sex with you instead of the alluring idea of being the type of man that someone would want to have sex with. If you’re looking to have more sex, you want to be the type of person someone wants to have sex with. Here are some real tips on how to be that type of man.

1. Women want to have sex, no convincing needed.

How do you feel when you lose? No matter how good you are at manipulation, if it’s a win-lose situation, you will always eventually come off as manipulative and unattractive. Women want to have sex, some even with you. Remember that sex is a win-win situation, no convincing needed.

2. Women want to have sex with men that are attractive to them.

What type of man attracts the type of woman you are interested in? Figure out her interests, physical and emotional. The more similarities you have with the women you are interested in the more attractive you become, and the easier it will be to meet them.

3. Women want to have sex with men that can have an interesting and sensual conversation with them.

How many women have been asked the same old question, “So, what do you do?” The only time you should have a non-flirtatious conversation with a woman is if she’s a family member or superior. Take the time to come up with creative questions and responses to everyday questions, and then, have conversations with women. Conversation that is boring, implies that you are boring.

4. Women want to have sex with men that stimulate them mentally.

Are you interested in her or just want to sleep with her? Your experiences with her need to be mentally exhilarating. Be inquisitive about her life, be an active and excited conversationalist. Ask thought provoking questions. If she is thinking about you while laying in bed, you are practically there already.

5. Women want to have sex with men that embody masculinity.

How do you think you look slouched over? Stand tall and with a stance shoulder width apart to appear confident in your masculinity (it doesn’t matter how tall you are to stand tall). Breathe deeply and speak from your diaphragm to have a fuller and lower sounding voice. Take your time when you are speaking. The faster you speak the sooner the people in front of you can leave.

6. Women want to have sex with men that they feel comfortable around physically.

How did you act around your previous or current lovers? Treat everyone like you know them and are comfortable around them and they will feel comfortable around you. Small touches create greater levels of comfort and increase sexual tension.

7. Women want to have sex with men that they feel comfortable around emotionally.

Can you be trusted? Be the calm in the storm. Stay in control and stable in the face of emergencies—emotional or physical—to build trust and comfort in your relationships. A large component of the decision on whether or not to act on sexual attraction is if a woman can trust and is comfortable around you.

Instead of wondering, “How can I get her to sleep with me?”, ask yourself “WHY would she want to sleep with me?” The answer is the key to becoming more sexually attractive. Know and be confident in your why, and that will be apparent to practically everyone in your life. TC mark