April 9, 2014

10 Things You Think You Know About Porn, Which Are Actually Incorrect

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What is the issue?
I’ve been working on this little tidbit for awhile now. I started writing it because I kept seeing these things on My Facebook feed, things that even My FRIENDS in real life were posting. Memes, articles, videos and commentary about “real sex” vs porn sex and then a list of things that to me seem as if they were written to make people feel better about themselves. I thought, if people who are friends with Me believe this stuff the views people have about most porn performers are SO false it is absurd! When I tried talking to My friends about these things they would say “oh but not You, I mean all the OTHER porn girls” Apparently My friends need a reality check. I’ve picked a few of the most common myths I hear over and over and given my perspective.
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Shutterstock

Porn sex is not real sex

I know that’s what everyone keeps saying. And I’m sorry I’m about to make your head spin, but, porn sex IS actual real sex.

There’s actual penetration, it’s not camera trickery or CGI. Lots of people tell themselves that porn sex is not real sex as a way to make them feel better about themselves and their sexual proclivities.

Lots of people say this because they think maybe the “extreme” types of sex and sexuality they see on the screen are all for show and nobody in real life is having sex like that. Well, here’s a newsflash: People have ALL types of sex in the world. Some companies want to shoot certain types of sex, and some performers enjoy doing certain sex acts. I know it’s hard to believe that some guys like to be tied up, made to bark like a dog and fucked with a strapon, but this type of stuff happens not only in porn movies, but in real life for lots of people.

I know it might be hard for you to believe that some women really enjoy anal sex very rough while having their hair puled, but there’s women all around the world who like this type of sex and are having it in their daily lives, WITHOUT cameras rolling. There’s tons of types of sex in the world, one is not more real than the next!

Now, that being said: In many cases there’s some things that make porn sex very different from the sex you’d have in your own bedroom. There’s this whole thing “opening up” or “cheating out” and ways you position your body so that the camera can see what’s going on. YES indeed this is real sex, but it’s also a performance.

Think of it like this. When you watch a professional football game you don’t say “this football is fake” even though it looks totally different from the football you’d play in your own backyard right. Those are professionals. Doing something they have trained and worked very hard t be good at, doing something on a very grand scale. There’s professional lighting and cameras and editors. It’s still football, it’s just professional football. Porn sex is real sex, made by professional performers with professional production qualities.

There’s even an entire genre of porn that features “real” people having “real” sex. Though I hope in My lifetime people will stop referring to porn performers as something like unicorns. I am sick to death about reading the differences between “porn people” and “real people” porn sex vs. real sex” Porn sex IS real sex, it’s just probably not like the sex you have in your bedroom.

There are certainly differences from lots of porn and the sex you may be having in your bedroom. For instance when you have sex at home you probably aren’t making sure your toes are pointed and twisting your body into weird positions so that your face and ass are viewable at the same time. There’s probably also not a room full of people shooting stills, holding lights, capturing video and you most likely don’t have a makeup artist on call to touch up in between takes when your mascara starts running. But you say things like, Porn sex is not real sex! These people are not capturing genuine sexual experience on video, there’s too many makeup artists and cheating out to the camera and stupid plots.

All porn is the same

Saying all porn is the same is like saying all music is the same because you only listen to the top 40 hits. We have this vision that all porn involves a blonde woman opening the door and having sex with the pizza guy. Well, there is LOTS of different types of porn out there! If what you are craving is genuine sex between two folks you probably won’t find it on tube sites. Just like with good underground music, you’ll have to search for it, what’s more is that you have to PAY FOR IT TOO! You are most likely referring to porn you find on tube sites and free sites. Well, please take some time to click around, I’m sure you’ll find a wide diversity in people there.

There’s BDSM and kink porn which has a BROAD range of different niches, there’s comedy porn, reality porn, feminist porn, milf porn, gilf porn, queer porn, gay porn, lesbian porn (there’s even multiple kinds of lesbian porn. You can find “mainstream” lesbian porn that features women who may be having sex with another woman for the first time, and doing it in a manner that is sort of what a straight mans version of fantasy lesbian sex must look like, and there’s also REAL lesbian porn featuring two women who like women having awesome explosive sex with each other.) There’s gangbangs, reverse gangbangs, blowbangs, bondage, softcore, instructional porn, amateur porn, porn shot on beaches, porn shot in mansions, porn shot in bathrooms, punk porn, goth porn, artistic porn.

I think you get my point. TONS of porn exists. There’s way more to the adult industry than a blonde girl with fake boobs being fucked doggy with a cumshot to the face. If that’s not your bag search around for stuff you like!

Now let’s keep in mind that if what you are after is real quality smut ethically made by people who love their jobs, you’ll have to pay for it. You won’t find awesome stuff on tube sites (and if you do it was stolen and it’s so awesome don’t you want to pay the artists for their hard work?) But we’ll delve into why I think you should pay for porn later.

The thing is: porn companies continue to produce a certain TYPE of porn because people CONTINUE TO BUY IT! So if you don’t like it put your money where your shit talking mouth is and BUY SOME! People who are making alternative pornographies are generally on a much smaller scale and budget than their bigger counterpart studios in the industry. So when you find porn that really resonates with you purchase it, so the artist can continue to make it!

Porn stars all have plastic surgery

This isn’t true. It’s just not true. I know that many of you have this notion that every porn star has blue eyes, blonde hair and big fake tits, fake tan fake nails. You get the idea. Well, this could not be further from the truth. Porn performs vary in age, size, color, shape, body type and ethnicity.
Truth is that a 33 year old chick with extensive tattooing and scarification work most likely won’t get a contract with a major mainstream porn company. But there’s a place in adult for just about everyone.

The myth that all porn stars have plastic surgery is just that… a myth. Stars such as Stoya and Sasha Grey should go to prove to you that not even every famous well known porn star has plastic surgery. Of course there ARE some porn stars with plastic surgery, there are also some lawyers, doctors and waitresses with plastic surgery too! It’s not a requirement to be in this industry. If you don’t like the look of fake boobs or fake tans you are in luck, because there’s roughly seven thousand OTHER porn performers for you to enjoy.

There this thing going around the internet telling people to stop comparing their vaginas with the vaginas in porn because all porn stars have had plastic surgery done to their vaginas. SAY WHAT!? I know A LOT of porn stars. I actually don’t know any that have had any sort of vaginal surgeries. The chicks I know with labial reductions etc are chicks from the body modification community, but that probably says more about My group of friends than the porn industry at large. I’m sure this happens, I’m sure SOME performers DO have altered vaginas. (In fact when I came back to edit this piece I had just watched Amy Fisher on cam and she was talking about how SHE had this done.) But not all. Women in porn are attractive. They have long legs, perfect skin, flat tummies and perfect tiny little pussies. It’s part of WHY they got into porn in the first place!

I legitimately have looked at my vagina and thought “this thing is so perfect it needs to be photographed and blown up really huge to be hung on gallery walls”: and then I later did exactly that.
There’s also a whole genre of porn that celebrates people of ALL body types if perfect flat tummies long legs and teeny pussies are not your thing, you can find BBW performers, proud fat sex workers, midget porn, trans porn and probably a whole bunch of other stuff you didn’t even know existed because you haven’t been looking for it.

All women fake it

Another one that is just so false. I’ve never faked an orgasm on film. Sometimes I cum 15 times in a matter of 15 minutes. That’s My sexuality in real life, and I project it onto the screen.

Of course, SOME women do fake orgasms, but some waitresses also smile and pretend they are happy to serve you too. A LOT of straight cis porn focuses on the male orgasm, there’s not tons of airtime given to actual female pleasure in a lot of mainstream porn. In a lot of scenes women have NO orgasm nor do they even try. I guess some people mistake moaning a lot for an orgasm. Perhaps you should educate yourself on what an actual female orgasm looks like before you scream about how every woman in porn is faking it. Yes, some women fake it, I wonder what the statistics are on women faking it in the porn industry vs. women faking it in their own bedrooms with their husbands and lovers.

I know some porn girls who fake it. They feel like they are acting, one big performance and they want it to be over the top, their stance is it’s not actual sexuality, it’s an exaggerated sex doll version of themselves as a porno queen. I can get into that, it’s just not My particular style. I also know A LOT of other women who actually have real orgasms on film!

If you are concerned that it’s all a farce maybe you should dig deep and find some production companies that are shooting genuine female orgasms? Ishotmyself is a great place to start, it’s ALL abut female orgasms! You can also check out the feminist porn awards, any movie which has won or been nominated for an award must show genuine female pleasure, isn’t that invigorating!? I mean I just gave you DAYS of porn research right there!

All porn is made by men for men

Ok, it’s 2014. I mean, 2 years ago I was involved when Nightline came to set and shot a little piece about women who produce porn. There’s LOTS of power players in this industry who are women. I once again invite you to check out the feminist porn awards, which features filmmakers from ALL over the country who are producing content made by women. Porn is not also only for men, TONS of women love porn too, and you know what? Some of them even love the gonzo style gangbangs that you try to tell them are not real sex.

The internet changed porn A LOT! And even BEFORE the internet there were tons of underground male gay leather magazines, and lesbian culture books and diy zines made by cool college chicks wanting to explore their sexuality in front of an audience.

Now that we DO have the internet there are literally thousands of online websites made by women, for women, for women and men, by groups of women and by solo performers who wanted control over their own images and content. There’s whole award shows for porn that’s made by women, so that should give you a good grasp on just how much of the stuff is out there! Expand your horizons!

All porn stars are on drugs

Well, I’m not on drugs so there goes that myth out the window. I’m sure there’s drug use in this community. But the fact is, if you do a lot of drugs it affects your life, the way you act and the way you look. If you do not look and act your best there’s a hundred other girls waiting to replace you so shit like that really doesn’t fly for too long.

I certainly know some porn performers who use drugs recreationally, and some who abuse them. I also know some straight edge porn performers. I also know some politicians who use drugs, and some chefs who are alcoholics. Catch My drift? You can’t generalize. The porn industry is filled with a wide variety of people. I’m SURE that in the history of porn a performer gave a blowjob on film in order to get her next fix. In fact I think I may have inadvertently worked at a company that this happened for. But, in said incident, company finds out performer is a junkie, company gets rid of junkie. Nobody really wants junkies around who are desperate. There’s not like, lines of coke laid out on porn sets the way you might imagine. Some companies even go so far as to test performers for drugs. In short: we’re not all drug addicted fuckups.

All porn stars were the victims of childhood abuse

Well, I was the victim of childhood abuse. Does it make you feel better knowing that? Are all of your fears about broken porn stars validated now?

I will refer to my aforementioned statement about the porn community being made up of an incredibly varied group of people. I’m sure some have been abused as children. As a Pro Domme I have seen firsthand the healing powers of sexuality at work. I myself have found a strength, a pride in my naked body, control over my sexuality and the way I am represented. Having sex with real life partners, being dolled up by makeup artists and asked to playa sexpot femme role, all of this stuff was vital in making me the well rounded sarcastic yet soft bitch that I am today and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I’m sure a lot of other women and survivors have found strength in being able to reclaim their bodies as their own through pornography.

I also know lots of folks in porn who grew up with nice families in suburbia, who went to college and got degrees, and who later in life decided they just wanted to try being in porn because it made them feel sexy, and not because they were trying to work any shit out or make any political statement.
People do porn for a myriad of reasons and I do not believe that childhood abuse is a leading factor in what gets people involved with the adult industry.

WHY is this such a prevalent belief? It says a lot about our society, we are uncomfortable with women expressing their sexuality so we have to find a reason we can wrap our heads around as to why they would ever do such a thing, and we come up with: they must have been abused and are therefore broken and dirty, because the only people who would do this are fucked up and anyone who has been abused is fucked up? Jeez, if that’s what you believe it says more about your feelings about women than saying anything true about the adult industry as a whole.

Porn stars are all rich

My 91 Honda Civic and I would like to disagree!

Really? Shit I must’ve missed that memo. How much money do you think porn performers make? How much porn do you think we shoot! DAMN!

Most performers do NOT have contracts, only a small percentage of porn stars actually get a whole contract and the porn star dream you’re probably imagining. The rest of them get agents, who take a percentage of their fee (which is between $400 to $1500 on the average, but rates vary, drop, raise and change at the whim of directors and studios constantly) Since so many people actually don’t pay for porn, but steal it via tube sites and illegal downloading and later complain there’s not enough variety in it, people are shooting porn less, which means less work for performers. So I’d venture to guess that porn performers are actually making LESS now than they were in previous years.

Porn performers do not get any royalties, so the content they got paid $800 to shoot can be made into a set of stills, a dvd, a reissue of a dvd, a clip for sale online and sent to a magazine and the only person who will continue to make money will be the producer! Lots of porn stars cam nowawdays and keep in mind companies are taking up to 70% of the money earned on cam. Contrary to popular belief, pornstars do NOT make any commission from tube sites, we aren’t silently raking it in when you choose to watch free porn clips. Feature dancing is awesome but only a small portion of porn stars actually get to travel and feature dance and the gigs are hardly regular or reliable.

Lots of folks have vanilla daytime jobs and do porn on the side. Some performers make a career out of hustling phone sex webcam, dvds, websites, custom videos, signings, press, selling clips etc etc etc. WHEW! That’s a lot of work! Only a portion of a performers income is going to come from actually performing. It’s a job, a full time one that requires skill, class and tact in order to achieve success. So if you think it’s easy and anyone can do it and all a girl has to do is open her shirt and money falls from the skies you are wrong! It’s a job. A very good paying job, and it’s certainly possible to make a lot of money but most people who get into the industry thinking they’ll have tons of fortune are usually let down.

All porn performers are also prostitutes

It’s certainly true that SOME porn performers also escort on the side, and it’s probably also true that the number has increased in recent years. However, I don’t think MOST porn performers trade sex for money with the world at large.

A lot of people think that if you do porn, obviously you’ll have sex with anyone for money, right? It’s a very wrong assumption to make. Porn is a lot different than prostitution, if you don’t know what the difference is feel free to call my 1800 number and I’ll fill you in on all the way it’s different. Because a woman wants to share her sex life on camera does not mean that you’ll be able to offer her monetary payment to have sex with you. I’ve actually angrily blogged about this assumption more here.

All porn girls want to have sex with you

I know, you think we are all horny all the time, wandering around the house in 7 inch heels and lingerie looking for random cocks on street corner and fingering ourselves while we just hope beyond hope that some random fan who has illegally downloaded our last movie will offer to have sex with us. Now don’t get me wrong, lots of porn stars DO in fact craft their brand and public identity on this sex kitten super horny wants to fuck everyone all the time persona. Lots of other porn stars also craft their brand by being funny or smart or an activist, or political or academic.

Remember when I said that thing about porn being made up of all different types of people? Well, that applies here too. You can’t assume that because someone has done porn it’s acceptable to proposition them as an opening line. TC mark

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