September 22, 2016

The Reason She Is A Slut

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Audrey Reid - www.instagram.com/awaudrey/
Audrey Reid –
www.instagram.com/awaudrey/

It all started when she was a young girl. She was told that her prince charming would come along one day. That he would sweep her off her feet. That there would only be one boy for her, and he would be the best thing to ever happen to her.

So she waits. And she waits.

She grows. Now she is 16. She has a magnetic personality. Or that’s what boys tell her. She’s not sure. Many boys talk to her, and she tries to make it work with each of them. She has the perspective that we can learn something from everybody, and always gives people a chance. She thinks, “I can make it work with this boy, he is not perfect but I could learn to love him.” But always, there is a problem. She is told by some of these boys that she is too ‘innocent’ and that she is too ‘good’ and others tell her that she is too ‘intense’. Many times after that she is told she is too ‘apathetic’; other times that she ‘is too good for them’. She breaks one heart, but her heart gets broken too many times to count. There is always some excuse as to why they cannot love her back. She cries at night after each one of these boys; but she has hope that one day her prince charming will arrive.

She turns 18. She makes friends with other like-minded girls who have not found love either. They tell her that these boys do not deserve a girl like her. They help her move on after each heartbreak of an ‘almost.’ She helps them in return.

She meets a boy. Her ‘dream-boy’. He resembles everything she has ever wanted in a boy. And the best part is that the dream boy feels that she is his dream girl. They are made for each other. He tells her that he felt this way as soon as he saw her. He tells her that they met for a reason, that they are from the same star, that they have a connection that surpasses anything either have experienced before. She believes him because she feels the same thing, and does not listen to that tiny whisper behind her, warning that “this is too good to be true.”

She gives him her first kiss. He leaves. She loves this boy. She does not know why she does or why he left. She analyses every conversation they ever had, replaying it in her head word for word while she cries and remembers all the good memories she has of her dream boy. But he does not come back. He is only a good memory; her dream boy.

So she tries to move on. She tries to talk to other boys. But she compares every boy to her dream boy even though she knows she shouldn’t. These boys know that she is heartbroken. They take advantage of her because they know that when a girl is emotionally damaged, she is seeking attention to heal her. So one by one, they push her sexually and emotionally to see how far she will go with each of them. These boys do not care about her emotions, because they have been hurt themselves by their ‘dream girls’.

She kisses many boys, sometimes she kisses girls, sometimes she doesn’t remember who she has kissed. She goes out every weekend and it is a very rare night when she does not kiss at least one boy. She is seeking a connection like the last one she had, but even though she does realize that she cannot find a connection by drunkenly kissing boys, she likes the attention she gets and she keeps doing it. She doesn’t care anymore who she kisses.

She decides to grow up. She goes on a date. She thinks she could care about this boy, but this boy decides he isn’t ready to settle down with her. He wants to sleep with her. She says no. He leaves.

She decides that she does not want another boy to hurt her. So she makes a decision. The decision to lose her virginity to somebody that she does not care about. So she does. Because she does not want to lose it to a boy who she thinks cares about her when they don’t. She is not brave enough to risk her heart anymore.

Now she doesn’t care who she sleeps with. And that is okay, because this is the reason why she is a slut. TC mark

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