Thought Catalog
May 11, 2017

Heal Your Own Heart Instead Of Looking For Someone Else To Heal It

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What is the issue?
Christian Acosta

You have two options: you can heal your own heart or you jump in the arms of someone else to hope they can heal it.

Most go with the latter – most look for someone else to cover up the pain, to be a temporary band-aid, to make them forget about their broken heart, to become their vice. But at the end of the day, you’re left with a body next to you that doesn’t fulfill you and painful memories of ghosts of the person you used to love hanging around.

Don’t fall for the first person to give you attention. Don’t sleep with the first person who tells you he thinks you’re pretty. Don’t lose yourself to people who don’t care about you because it will only leave you feeling more broken inside – it won’t fill your void.

Work on you. Work on being alone. Work on improving who you are and finding yourself because if you don’t you’ll settle for someone who doesn’t treat you right, who isn’t what you want but you stay because you’d rather be in a relationship with someone who is half invested than be alone.

It’s so easy to get lost in someone else. It’s so easy to forget who you are without someone by your side when you’ve been a pair for so long but you have to discover who you are alone.

Be single – heal your own heart instead of looking for someone else to heal it because you’re the only one who can truly make yourself feel better.

It will be hard, you will feel lonely and it will make your world feel dark which is why most people don’t stay single. It’s why most people jump into new relationships with people who they have to convince themselves to fall for. It’s why most people end up serial dating because it’s easier than being alone and dealing with your emotions. It’s why most people end up in unfulfilling relationships.

But you can do better. You deserve better.

Be single. Work on yourself. Heal your own heart. Go through the pain and the heartache. Discover who you are alone and your goals. Work on becoming stronger. Find out who you want to be and work towards becoming that person every day.

You don’t need someone to complete you, you don’t need someone to heal your heart, you don’t need someone to make your world turn because you can make your own world turn.

You are tough, capable, smart and beautiful, and you don’t need anyone in your life to be all of those things. You are still the same person you were when you were in a relationship but now you have to be that person on your own, or you can become whoever you want to be.

Don’t jump into the next relationship because figuring out who you are is so much more important than having someone to sleep next to.

The lonely nights and the long days will suck, there’s no sugar coating it but they will make you stronger. They will help you realize what went wrong in your last relationship. They will help you become the person you wanted to be and they will help you never settle for less than you deserve again.

Stop looking for healing in the arms of someone else and start working on healing your own heart because you are enough, even on your own. TC mark