Thought Catalog
April 15, 2017

You Can Have A ‘Good Life’ And Still Be Depressed

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What is the issue?
God & Man

It’s the guy in college who is the captain of his hockey team. The one who has the beautiful girlfriend, the good family, the “cool” friends, the one who seems like he’s got everything going for him on the outside because he probably does. But that same guy is lying in bed every night wishing he was dead, wishing this wasn’t his life, not wanting to be live through another day of this. It’s the same guy who can’t take it anymore because everyone tells him he has nothing to complain about. It’s the same guy who can’t talk to anyone because everyone thinks he’s being dramatic because his life is fine.

It’s the girl who has good grades, who goes out on the weekend and has a job to support herself. She has a dog and a good family who loves her. She seems like she has it all but she doesn’t. It’s the same girl who spends her nights crying herself to sleep, the same one who always feels alone no matter who is around, the same girl who feels like she doesn’t have any friends truly there for her. It’s the girl who feels trapped, who tries to put on a smile but who is constantly feeling crushed. It’s the people who tell her she’s got a good life, she has nothing to worry about, that it will all be okay when it never feels like it’s going to be okay.

Depression isn’t necessarily the saddest person in the room, it can be the person who is forcing a smile, trying to convince you they’re happy just like they’re trying to convince themselves. It’s the person who tries to open up but constantly gets shuts down. It’s the person who decided it’s best to attempt to deal with their battles alone because no one wants to take the time to listen what they’re going through, instead people just want to tell them it’ll be fine.

You can be depressed and have the best life imaginable because the outside factors mean so little.

People are so quick to judge, so quick to say “but I don’t have any of that and I’m still not depressed.” And you might not be, but just because they seem like they have it all together on the outside doesn’t mean their world isn’t a dark, chaotic mess on the inside.

Depression doesn’t skip over people who seem like they’ve got it all together. It doesn’t matter what you appear to have because you can have it all and still feel worthless because depression is a mental health issue. It goes beyond what you have and own, it has to do with a chemical imbalance in your brain.

Depression is that voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough. It’s the tears that fall for no reason. It’s the lack of motivation that just makes you want to waste away in your bed all day. It’s always hanging around in the back of your mind, even on the best days. It’s constantly wrestling with demons you just can’t explain.

Depression always has the upper hand, even when you think you’re in control.

Just because you have what looks to be a good life on the outside doesn’t mean you have a good life on the inside. It doesn’t mean you’re not fighting constant battles and trying to convince yourself you’re fine.

Telling someone they’re fine because they’ve got everything doesn’t help because while they might seem to have everything a person would want on the outside it doesn’t mean any of that is helping them with their battle against depression on the inside.

Depression is usually the person who is trying to make everyone happy because they know how shitty it feels to be alone. It’s usually the person who is willing to help other’s with their problems because they just want someone to help them with theirs. It’s usually the first person to ask if someone is okay because they just want someone to ask them for once and really listen.

Depression is usually the person everyone thinks is doing well because they’re trying to be the person everyone thinks they are, and they’re trying to convince themselves they’re the person everyone thinks they are.

Just because someone appears to have a ‘good life’ on the outside doesn’t mean that inside they’re automatically okay. Be there for that person like they’ve always been there for you and hear them out before telling them they’re fine because they’ve got a ‘good life.’ TC mark

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