Thought Catalog
April 18, 2017

13 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Want Everyone To Like You

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What is the issue?
Allegra Messina

1. You always overcommit to everything because you can’t say no. You’re worried that you’ll end up hurting someone’s feelings or disappointing them so you always go – even when it’s the last thing you want to do. You’d also rather be involved than miss out on anything so people keep including you.

2. You always feel like it’s your responsibility to fix people. It’s not, but you feel like you’re the one who can save everyone. You put so much pressure on yourself that you end up only causing yourself pain while they go on with their life just fine without you.

3. You always find yourself in the middle of the drama. People come to you because you’re always there trying to keep everyone pleased. You try to avoid drama but somehow the drama always comes to you because people feel comfortable venting to you. You just nod your head and say “yeah” a lot so you don’t get caught up in talking badly about someone in case it ended up getting back to them.

4. You feel guilty for canceling plans. You feel so guilty that you’d rather just go than leave someone hanging. You agree to things that you know you’ll hate just because you want to be included, and because the FOMO you experience is so real.

5. You put your needs and time on the back burner. If you planned on doing something but someone needs you, you drop your own plans to go help. You always are bending over backwards to do things for others that they’d never do for you simply because you like the feeling of being needed.

6. You would rather go through something uncomfortable so other people don’t have to. You torture yourself and put yourself through uncomfortable situations so that other people don’t have to feel it. You’ll do simple things like volunteer to sit in the back seat so your friend can have the front seat. You take the blue shirt because you know someone else really wants the purple one, even though that’s the color you want, too. You think about how everyone else would feel and you rarely ever consider how the decision you’re making would impact you and your life.

7. You have a hard time cutting people out of your life. You can’t let people go because what if they just need a friend? What if they need you? What if they’re going through something hard? You feel like you need to be there for everyone because you have such a big, kind heart. You can’t bear the thought of upsetting someone by cutting them out of your life, so you just cause yourself more suffering by keeping them in your life.

8. You always try to be nice to everyone. You always feel bad for people and you never want anyone to feel excluded because you know what that feels like so you try to be the one who brings everyone together. You try to bring groups together and talk to the person who’s alone so they don’t feel so bad.

9. You care about people’s opinions, even if you don’t like them. For some reason you can’t help but worry about the bad things you heard someone say about you. You let it eat you up and destroy you, even if you don’t like them, it still bothers you because you want them to like you.

10. You always find yourself trying to take care of other people. You always spend so much of your time investing in others and you finally realize that maybe it’s because you’re hoping someday someone will care about you as much as you’ve cared about other people. But for now, you just keep giving and giving pieces of you to people who only semi appreciate it just because you want them to like you and appreciate you.

11. You always think you’re not doing enough for others. When you’re probably doing more than enough but you can’t bear the thought that maybe you’re not doing a good enough job. You always try to find ways to help and make their lives easier while your life might be falling apart.

12. You always try to take up as little space as possible. You never want to step out anyone’s toes so you just try to shrink up in the background until someone needs you.

13. You try to talk down about your accomplishments so other people don’t feel bad. You act like you can’t be happy for yourself when you do something fucking awesome because other people might not have amounted to anything great. You put your accomplishments on the back burner to accommodate other people’s feelings when you should be so proud of yourself. TC mark