I know what you’re feeling; you probably don’t think this article is addressed to you because you don’t see anything wrong with your relationship.
I know you don’t want to hear it, or maybe you’ve heard it in the past, but you’ve always shrugged the feelings off. You always thought people had no idea what they are talking about because you’re the only one who understands him. You think people are rude and judgmental of him, but you don’t care because no one knows him like you do.
You might not see it, but I do.
I do because I used to be you.
I used to let myself get belittled and controlled. I used to defend the person I loved because I thought everyone was wrong. I thought our relationship was fine.
Until I realized it wasn’t.
I think I might have always known deep down it wasn’t right, I think I always knew things seemed a little off. I think I always knew that somewhere in my heart things weren’t supposed to be this way. But how do you break up with the person you’ve been with for so long, how do you break up with the person you envisioned forever with?
How do you end it? Because what if you end it and it turns out to be the biggest mistake of your life?
Those thoughts are normal – they are very normal. You are only human after all.
But you should never feel like someone else’s interests are more important than your own because you matter.
You matter so much.
I’ve watched the way he treats you and I know it isn’t okay. He shouldn’t talk to you that way or grab your arm like that. He shouldn’t leave bruises on you, even if you were just “messing around” and his verbal abuse is still abuse. He shouldn’t have double standards, he shouldn’t be allowed to go out then get mad every time you leave the house on the weekend. That is not okay.
He shouldn’t treat you like you’re his property and he owns you. He shouldn’t treat you like you’re disposable and like you don’t do enough for him when he doesn’t even do half of what you do for him.
He shouldn’t call you a slut and talk horribly about you behind your back because he’s angry you went out. He shouldn’t say “fuck her” then go hit on other girls. He shouldn’t leave you in tears at the end of the night because of the words he uses to intentionally hurt you.
You shouldn’t be with someone like that.
But I think you know it already, I think you know it deep down, but you’re scared to acknowledge those feelings.
You are more than the degrading words he calls you, and you are more than the anger and pain he inflicts in you.
You are so much more than that and you deserve better.
I know you might think everything is okay, but it’s not. That behavior is not okay and it’s not your fault. It really isn’t your fault.
You might not see it now, but you will. You are blind by him because you don’t want to upset him and you love him, but you are so much better than him.
Your boyfriend is a piece of shit and I think you know it, I think you hear your friends talk about it in their whispers and your mom when she tells you she doesn’t get good vibes from him and the look in your eyes when they are filled with tears means that something isn’t right.
The people who care about you and say those things aren’t being mean, I promise they aren’t, but they are doing their best to look out for you. They are doing their best to care for you because they have your best interest at heart and they can see you aren’t being treated properly because they know what you deserve.
Take a step back and think, are you really happy? Are you really happy?
Now think about what you truly deserve.
Because you do deserve better.