I overheard a conversation when I was working at a café the other day. The two girls were on their phones, talking and laughing and scrolling as per usual.
But one conversation they had stroked a nerve in me I didn’t like.
“Have you seen _______ lately, she’s gained so much weight?”
“I know, I saw, it’s so bad. I don’t get how you can just let yourself go like that.”
I wanted to walk over and grab the phone from their hands and chuck it across the café, but of course I did not do that.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard conversation like this and I know it won’t be the last, but no matter how many times I hear it I will still feel angry and upset about it.
I hate how much we make weight a factor. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
The number on the scale does not define you; you are so much more than the size of your jeans.
I don’t care if you wear a size 28 or 38 in bra or a size small or extra large. I don’t care if you can run ten miles without stopping or if you can’t even run one.
None of that matters to me; what matter to me is how you are as a person because that is actually important.
What matters to me is the way you talk about other people.
Do you whisper cruel words when your ‘friends’ aren’t around or do you compliment them.
Do you volunteer your time or money to help make the world a better place or do you pinch every penny and cringe when you walk by donation boxes?
Do you care more about others or are you more worried about yourself?
Do you always take, take, take without every giving and just expect people to do things for you?
You could be hateful, arrogant, rude, demeaning, dishonest, temperamental, a cheater, conceited, self-absorbed, racists, sexist, homophobic, pessimistic, or mean. And to me those things are all a hell of a lot worse than being ‘fat.’
Putting other people down based upon their weight is dealing with your own insecurities in a non-direct way. Why does my weight bother you so much? Why does the size of my thighs consume your mind and create enough irritation in you to have to gossip about it with your friend?
Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she was hesitatnt to post the image because of fear of what people like you would say? Maybe she battled back in forth in her own head before she posted it, hoping that no one would say anything crude on there. Maybe she’s working on bettering her own self-image in her own.
Or did it occur to you that she’s completely happy? That she is happier living her life where she might have gained a couple extra pounds because she’s living out her balance in life with exercise and eating well while still indulging in her cravings? Maybe she posted the picture because she likes it and she’s damn proud of herself.
Other people’s lives are not your life to discuss. Instead of focusing the negative energy in your heart towards someone who has done nothing wrong, focus it on bettering yourself. No one’s weight is affecting you, except your own.
There are plenty worse things you can be in the world than ‘fat’.
And to the girls who have “gained weight” live your life for you! If you’re happy where you’re at then hell yeah sister, keep doing you. If you’re trying to get back in shape that’s awesome, too! Don’t let anyone tell you how you should live your life because everybody is different and so is every body. Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about anyone else.
Stop degrading people based on their size. The world doesn’t need anymore hate.