September 14, 2016

What It Feels Like When Your ‘Almost Relationship’ Ends

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H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer
H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer

He suggests you shouldn’t talk anymore. Just like that. Like it’s that simple and that easy, like you’re just an old dishrag used up and thrown away.

He suggests moving on, not seeing each other anymore, like you weren’t invested into the relationships.

He decides it’s better to see other people, better to go your separate ways and he assumes that you’ll be okay with it. He doesn’t ask your feelings, he just assumes.

So you try to be.

You try to act like you’re not hurt, you secretly hope he’s going to realize he messed up and you’ll take him back. But he doesn’t come back; in fact he barely even looked back at the wreck he left behind because to him it wasn’t a big deal. To him you weren’t really dating so why should it matter that much?

But you feel broken and hurt.

You feel like a fool, like you invested so much time into a person who could so easily just leave you in the dust. You feel used and you have an ache in your chest. Your friends tell you you’ll find someone better than him and that he was kind of an asshole anyway. They’ll tell you they can’t believe he would do that to you and you deserve better.

It’s like the whole thing was written out before you even knew it was over. It’s like you should have seen it coming because it’s the most famous scene in the movie everyone has watched a thousand times. But each time it happens it doesn’t reduce the hurt and doesn’t numb the pain.

The pain is still there, like a dagger in your chest making it hard to breathe. You try to convince yourself that the pain isn’t worth it, that you shouldn’t be that upset, that you should have seen it coming, but it doesn’t heal the wounds. It doesn’t stop the pain or weaken the blow from behind.

You’re hurt and you’re allowed to be hurt. You’re allowed to feel sad, you’re allowed to cry and you’re allowed be to feeling the pain.

Heartbreak hurts, no matter how long you were with someone, no matter if you were dating or not. Once your heart is invested, it hurts when it ends.

Especially when you didn’t see it coming, when you had no idea that he felt this way because he didn’t communicate it to you. You were completely caught of guard and had to act like it didn’t bother you.

That’s the hardest part.

But you try to stay strong, you try to push away the thoughts of him that come flooding in your mind because while your waiting for an apology from him he’s long gone, and he’s not coming back.

It’ll take time, but eventually you will be okay. You will move on from your almost relationship and you will forget the pain he left you will, but for now you’re allowed to be sad and you’re allowed to miss him.

You don’t need a title in order to feel for someone.

So feel. Be human. It’s okay. TC mark

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