Sometimes I get feeling a little lonely and feel like I might like some company, other times the thought of having someone in my life makes me feel sick, like physically sick. So I decided to create a lazy girl’s guide to dating, for when you think you might want love, but also kind of don’t care.
Tinder is like a single girl’s best friend that you kind of love, but kind of hate. It’s great for when you’re binge-watching Netflix on the couch all day and kind of want someone there with you. You can just swipe away and send all the flirty messages you want without ever moving, except to press, ‘yes, I’m still watching’ on the TV.
2. Let other’s hook you up.
Your friends and family are always telling you about this guy they know who would be perfect for you, sweet. Let them do all the dirty work and you just show up to meet your ‘perfect’ mystery man. If it works out, then it’s awesome for you, it if doesn’t I mean you didn’t really put much effort in so whatever.
3. Go for drinks at a casual time.
If you met a guy who’s super cool and you think there might be something there, don’t ask him to go on a date, just ask him if he wants to get a drink, like randomly when you’re not doing anything so you don’t have time to freak out or get dolled up. Just treat it as casual, because the more casual the better it might work out.
4. Stalk hot guys on social media.
No better way to crush from your couch without actually having to engage in conversation. Just sit there, stare at his face on your phone screen and like away. Dudes love likes.
5. Date a friend.
Look for someone in your life who’s also single and could potentially have interest in you. Maybe they used to like you or they asked you out on a date once five years ago when you were both drunk. Time to take advantage of it now. Give it a go, it could be love.
6. Look in places you normally go.
Like the guy who cuts your deli meat at the grocery store, he might be the one. Or the guy who swipes your card at gym (or frozen yogurt bar) might be the one to steal your heart. You never know, start looking in places you never considered.
7. Go on a double date.
Way less pressure than if you’re with a new guy alone at a restaurant with candles on the table trying to figure each other out. Double dates with your friends will super ease the pressure and will break the awkward silence. And if it turns out to be a total fluke just get drunk and reminisce over embarrassing things with your pals.
8. Be a cheap date.
Seriously no lazy girl wants to go to an expensive dinner where things are all fancy and you have to dress up. We want to go get a burger and tacos from that dive bar on the corner. We can also pay for our own food so we don’t feel obligated to owe you a second date or whatever if we don’t feel like a “next time.”
9. If everything still fails, you can just buy this shirt.
It’s on eBay.