Thought Catalog
October 15, 2013

The Extremely Dangerous New Male Breed: The Insecure Narcissist

Report This Article
What is the issue?

About a year ago, one of my favorite tweeters, Sophia Rossi, said something that rocked to me my core. No really, I had an epiphany. Alas there was now proper terminology for something that my brain had tried to make sense of time and again. It read:

“My favorite male breed has to be the insecure narcissist”

So many things in my life began to make sense once I read that. After favoriting and retweeting it, I softly whispered to my own soul, “Me too, Sophia, me too.” I hadn’t realized it before, but this kind of new-age breed of human was the exact type of person I was constantly chasing after – and it always ended disastrous. You should know that this is not the account of an angry feminist. Insecure narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, including women. I even like to think that animals, like the red fox, could also fit into this category. They appear to be cute and seemingly harmless. You think to yourself, “Wow I could really share a bed with this little guy, he seems pretty cuddly and sweet.” But beneath this adorable exterior, these animals are actually some pretty vicious bastards who will not hesitate to claw off of your face given the opportunity. Insecure narcissists are kind of like that.

The beauty of the insecure narcissist is within its contradictory nature. An insecure narcissist may have divulged to you personally their inherent insecurities, or they may even wear them on their sleeve like a badge of honor; a symbol for the weak and wounded. In the beginning stages of your initial interactions with them, they may appear to be timid on any number of topics ranging from physical appearance, athleticism, to social interactive skills. Whatever the issue may be, they want you to sympathize with them. You immediately feel like your souls are connected and you want to help them shine as bright as the freakin’ big dipper. They chose you because they need you. Right?

In the preceding exchanges with this person, a different layer of their psyche is revealed. This wonderful oxymoron is born once your previously timid caterpillar manifests into a delusional narcissist. The moment you feel like your support and efforts are important variables in their quest to self-confidence, they reveal that they are actually in no need of it. Their egotism is at a surprisingly high level. This becomes obvious when you see him/her check themselves out in the mirror about eleven times, or watch them relentlessly flirt with fellow bar patrons in a desperate attempt to copulate. They actually don’t need your help at all; it was all a part of their charm to make you melt in their hands like hot butter on a skillet.

I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting multiple insecure narcissists in my short 22 years of life. One in particular told me he wasn’t always popular with the ladies; even went as far to say that I probably would not have given him the time of day a few years ago. This is the same person who would break up with me for a week at a time just so he could indulge in various sexscapades with other girls, without technically being considered a cheater. Yeah man, you’re really insecure. This is just one example of how these monsters of humans can be seriously deceptive. They will not only be misleading in the romantic arena of their lives, but they will also find ways to implement this bizarre misconception into their work environment and friend circle. Opposingly I will always have a sympathetic heart for those people who have genuine insecurities, but I am not talking to those people. I love those people. I’m talking to the people who use this behavior as a tool of manipulation and a source of trickery. You guys are evil wizards that cast your emotional spell on people who whole heartedly wanted to cure you of your shortcomings. These people believed in you and saw all of the positives you had to offer, there was no need to go all on Kanye West on everyone. The juxtaposition of these two characteristics created this unique brand of human, and unfortunately its population is growing by the minute. Despite the toxic influence these people have had on my life, I continuously find myself gravitating towards them. The irony is full circle. Insecure narcissists exist everywhere, so please beware; they rarely accessorize with caution tape. So thank you Sophia Rossi, for putting a name to the face. I feel you on this one, I really do. TC mark

image – Bhumika.B