Notes From My Trip To America
1. Some people have given way to the tide of deterioration; others fight against it every day.
2. Everyone’s waiting for the next Adderall, because everyone’s on Adderall and they all still feel the same.
3. In the Midwest, the deterioration is real and irreversible. The roads just get worse and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
4. The girl in the gold hat gives out free hugs.
5. Skinny horses are really sad. It’s terrible to see. Most horse owners love their animals. But when things get tough and it doesn’t rain no one gets to eat.
6. “Did you bring your charger? Do you have your charger? Do you mind if I use your charger?”
7. I’ve never seen so many dead raccoons on the highways. Maybe people just stopped swerving?
8. I take everything this city will give me. And this city won’t give me everything, just what it thinks I need.
9. Can these people see how anxious I am? Can you imagine living in a place with almost no fear? I can.
10. She’s damn good looking, but the kids are making her sad.
11. “Which one do you want? People? US Weekly?”
12. The mother with child is asking the train car for help as the blind man shuffles through the train.
Next stop: Nostrand Avenue.
13. A hard rain was going to fall, but we barely got wet.
14. This time last year the whole city was still a possibility.
15. Bitchy girls call me gay like it’s an accusation because I’m skinny and in shape for my age.
16. I talk to the man. The man says your morality is for fools when you’re a year from 50.
17. “Then I was like, I don’t have an accent, you have an accent.”
18. The woman says she hasn’t had sex in a year. A year.
19. The modern man can travel in every circle. Sit at a table with farmers playing poker in Nebraska, hipsters snorting Xanax in Berlin, travelers smoking hash in Nepal, and day traders talking stocks in Manhattan.
20. I have my own trouble with living, but I don’t have the fear.
21. What can the man from the block think about what this place has become?
22. To be against the world that came before you is not the way to build a better one.
23. Just because you live in the center of the universe does not mean it needs you there.
24. Is weirdness without direction, without form, really culture?
25. “I was going to go skydiving but it was too windy.”
26. All the sunflowers in Brooklyn can’t stop the shootings every Labor Day.
27. I got with you because you wanted to. I got with you because I wanted to. I got with you because you didn’t want to.
28. I’ll just sit here and watch the pretty girls go by on their bikes.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”