Sticks & Stones May Break Your Bones (But Here’s 4 Ways To Keep Words From Hurting You)

I’m pretty sure the moment my ‘friend’ called me fat hurt worse than a broken bone would have. Did she say it out of anger? Doesn’t matter. Did she say it to make herself feel better? Maybe. Did she say it as a genuine concern? Probably not. I never consider myself to be thin, but I also never consider myself self-conscious. Until now. I immediately began to question that maybe she was right. I initially started thinking of diets I could start and exercise plans I could stick to. I started thinking. But instead, I went to dinner and finished all my French fries.

People are going to say things. Some will say them behind your back, and others will have no problem saying them directly to you. We all must know by now that just because somebody says something doesn’t mean it’s the truth. But that doesn’t matter — does it? What matters is that it was said, whomever it was said by, no matter how true or ridiculous it is. Hearing that someone was talking badly about you hurts. Listening to a ‘friend’ insult you hurts. Thinking about that comment over and over hurts. But it hurts because you are letting it.

So stop letting it. How?

1. Know that you are in charge. Your ‘friend’ may have been the one to make the remark, but you are the one who makes it drive you crazy. What somebody says about you explains who they are, not who you are.

2. Care less about what others think. We are all so worked up over what others say, think, and judge of us. The reality is that when somebody says or thinks something negative about you, they only say or think it for a quick moment. But you are the one constantly thinking about it and letting it ruin your day. Stop doing that.

3. Accept that everyone has an opinion. We all have different opinions about many things: politics, food preferences, fashion choices. You are just one of the things that people will form an opinion about. Try to turn it into a positive light. For every person who thinks you are ugly, someone thinks you are pretty.

4. Avoid the ones who get you down. We all have some sort of reason why we have to hangout with the people we don’t actually like. We’ve been friends forever. She’s in my inner-circle. I don’t want to cause drama. Forget that. Stop surrounding yourself with people who willingly hurt you, and you won’t hear any comments that upset you in the first place. Figure out who the positive people are in your life and stick with them.

I’m not defending the people who talk shit. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be upset. I’m suggesting you rise above whoever is purposefully harming you. It took me a while to understand and accept this. But now when I think about the girl who dropped the real f-bomb on me, I laugh that she thought it could get to me. The “he said”s and “she told me”s will realistically never change, but the way you let them affect you definitely can.