Thought Catalog
June 15, 2017

12 Things No One Tells You About Relationships That I Learned From My Family

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What is the issue?
Kaci Baum

1. Nothing should be taken personally, but always pay attention to how others respond to you. It’s a great way to learn about yourself, and a great way to make connections and keep friends. Forgive, holding a grudge will get you nowhere

2. Most of the time when someone walks away from a great person or a great opportunity it is because they don’t believe they deserve it.
Introspect is crucial as well. Don’t immediately blame yourself when someone leaves, but always be honest with yourself about your faults.

3. Being mouthy and critical is very easy.
Being vulnerable and focusing on yourself is not. The easy way out will always be there, but happiness is not found in judgement, observation or criticism. It’s found in living, making mistakes, and doing everything like you love it

4. Learn from other people’s mistakes, don’t sit in on an observational high horse and believe you will never fail or fall. Only watch those around you to learn, and or help. Other wise your commentary isn’t important, not to your friends especially. Life is hard, be supportive. But always focus on what people need, not what they want.

5. Every action you make and word you speak is an external reflection of the internal.
When you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. Don’t blame anyone else, and don’t let anger build inside you.

6. “I like you means I want you, I respect you means I want to be like you”
– Matthew Coast (shoutout to this awesome man, I highly suggest getting his E-book) drill this into your head.

7. Leave people better than you found them
, but don’t just give people what they want, only give people what they need. You are not a bowl of candy.

8. When it comes to dating, don’t let anyone tell you what to do, or who to be. Keep your friends, do not be fooled by someone who is insecure, and do not take it personally when people walk away. It’s going to happen.

9. Embrace indifference. You don’t have to be bothered or excited about everything that happens. A guy doesn’t text you back? Oh well. Someone’s rude to you? Move on with your day. If someone hurts you, think before you feel. Decide if it’s even worth processing someone else’s ignorance or stupidity before you let it break your heart.

10. Looks are not everything.
But people care about them. A lot. Do your best to love and like yourself enough that no one can send you spiraling out of control or downward about anything. Even if it’s honest. Mental toughness is the best offense and defense.

11. Don’t lose sight of the big picture in the pursuit of instant gratification.
Social media is all about instant gratification but a meaningful relationship is not. Adjust, and be mindful, even when the ways of the world are changing.

12. Men need romance. And most of them aren’t going to provide it without a reason. If you want a good relationship, bring the opportunity to the table. Maintain control of your life and you will maintain control of your happiness. Don’t let go of the steering wheel. But don’t forget to enjoy the scenery either. TC mark

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