Seven Things I Wish I Knew Before Taking This Waiter Job

My time at the diner was brief. But in that time I learned many things, some worthwhile (how to prepare Eggs Benedict, how to enjoy whisky milkshakes) and some not-so-worthwhile (where to reliably find extra ketchup packets on the supply truck).

Twin Peaks Took Over My Life

This limitlessness further feeds our obsessive appetite. Plentiful free TV shows lead us to… expectations of many more free TV shows, and other treats beyond that. Instant indulgence becomes the norm. I see that my Netflix account now recommends a David Lynch documentary. I’ll probably end up watching it. Soon. And who knows where I’ll go from there? The lure of the promise of more is unending.

Write Without Restraint! An Incredible Offer

That’s right: for an unlimited time so long as the English language exists, YOU can indulge in every verbose fantasy imaginable! Flaunt your vocabulary! Use adverbs unendingly! Overwrite EVERY SINGLE paragraph!