December 24, 2012

Courses They Should Actually Be Teaching In College

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Health & Lifestyle

  • Responsible Partying: You’re Not a Sorority Girl Anymore
  • Feigning Disinterest in Costume Parties
  • Overcoming Your Red Solo® Cup Dependency Once and For All
  • Surviving Your Twenties Without Doing Irreparable Damage to Your Body or Your Dignity (Whatever Comes First)
  • How to Dance at Weddings
  • Intro to Gerontology: When Memorization of Popular Song Lyrics, Boy Band Star Names and Other Such Inanities Stops Coming Naturally

Relationships

  • How Not to Be The Low-Hanging Fruit OR How Not to Be The Destination at the End of the Path to Least Resistance (Depending on Your Metaphorical Wording Preferences)
  • Making New Friends, Non-Creeper Style
  • Identifying the Greenness of the Grass on Your Side
  • Game Theory: #Winning Despite Your Hatred of Having to Play In The First Place
  • How It’s Done: Gray Area Casual Dating
  • Intro to Urban Planning: Erecting Airtight Friend Zones and Circles of Trust

Career

  • Reading Between the (Email) Lines
  • Advancement 101: Delegating Work to Underlings Despite Still Feeling Like One Yourself
  • Effective Pain Management Techniques: Networking & Mixers
  • Outwitting Passive-Aggressive Coworkers With — You Guessed It — Even More Passive-Aggression
  • The Art of Powering Through 1,497 Unread Emails After Getting Back From That Vacation You Took Precisely to Avoid the Cesspool That Is Your Inbox
  • $3 Sake Bombs and Other Happy Hour Fundamentals

Culture

  • Cultivating a Political Backbone Without Irritating Your Loved Ones on Facebook
  • 50 Non-Reddit-Sourced Ways to Exude Coolness Given Your Dwindling Pop Culture Prowess
  • Coping Skills: When Reality TV Is The Closest To Reality You Get
  • Emerging Household Trends: Repopulating the Empty Nest
  • Intro to Civic Participation: Perennial Under-informed Voting (If You Even Make It to the Polls) and Jury Duty Avoidance Tactics

Technology & Social Media

  • Zen Basics: Teaching Your Parents How to Use Technology Without Imploding
  • Proper, Adult-like News Consumption When All You Want to Do is Read BarStoolSports, ThoughtCatalog, or PerezHilton
  • The Art Of Wasting Precious Time On The Interwebz
  • Self-Rescue Techniques: When You Find Yourself in the “Weird” Parts Of YouTube
  • Post-Limewire Age Music Acquisition for Dummies
  • Explaining AOL, MySpace, GeoCities, Friendster, and Xanga to Today’s Youth

Everything Else

  • Acclimation 101: When Nothing Surprises You Anymore
  • Suppressing Shame and Schadenfreude So No One Notices It (Or So You Think)
  • Data Skills: Managing the Unnecessary Overabundance of Choice in Practically Every Aspect of Modern Life
  • Personal Finance Fluency By Way Of Cheesy Self-Help Blogs & Books
  • Advanced List-making: When You’ve Lost the Ability to Form Cohesive Paragraphs of Interconnected Thoughts TC mark

Audj Sunu

Audj Sunu resides in Los Angeles. She has one mind that’s all over the place, two left feet, and ten fingers that …

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