February 4, 2014

Dear Women, Please Stop. Just Really, Stop.

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What is the issue?

I would like to think I am an optimist; a glass half full, you win some you lose some, when life gives you lemons, kind of girl.

However, I get that the entire population of women is never going to all get in a big circle, sing Kumbaya, and braid each other’s hair. I think that is a fair assumption. But for the LOVE of God can we stop being assholes to each other? Every day there is a new article surrounding women; trust me I’ve written them too! Though the things I write are all typically in the context of humor, there are a lot of you bitches (and I mean that lovingly, of course) that are just downright mean. Look, if you want to get married at 21 after knowing a guy for six months, go for it. Do I think it might not be the ideal choice? Absolutely, but it’s your life. If you want to have four kids, and join mother’s groups, and spend three hours a day talking about the benefits of cloth diapers, by all means. If you’d like to take out 80 grand in student loans and get your Bachelor’s Degree in Malaysian Studies or Turfgrass Management (I hear that actually isn’t a bad choice), then have at it.

My question is what is with this competition among women now?

It is either a battle of “who’s life is more difficult” or “who is doing it better?” Just stop. There is this sense of martyrdom among young mothers I keep seeing and this abrasive, defensive attitude against other women. I am an extremely empathetic human being; I pride myself on that fact. However, I find it hard to give genuine sympathy to people for choices THEY made. If you go out of your way to make it a point to explain that your lifestyle is YOUR choice, why should anyone feel bad for that? My job is a pain in the ass sometimes and from time to time, I will probably complain about it. Yet, I am completely aware I chose the 70 hour work week, living on planes, and eating raisin bran at continental breakfast far more than I’d like-lifestyle. Will I bitch on social media here and there because I can? Highly likely. Do I expect anyone in the world to go feel bad about it? Absolutely not. This is my choice just like it is other women’s choice what they do with their lives.

Many people in today’s world can fall victim to circumstance, I get that. I also get though, that life is what you make it and your life more times than not is reflective of the choices that you make. People, ALL people are no better than one another. Don’t look down on someone because they choose to be single and have a career before they settle down. Don’t look down on others because getting married and having kids was what they wanted. We all have to bust our ass, work hard, and do things we don’t want to survive. No path is “easy” and if it is please share it with the rest of us.

Truly though, everyone collectively needs to cut the shit and stop acting like their lives are so much harder than those around them. You CHOSE this life, live it or do something to change it. Everyone’s life has its own types of struggles. It is not fair to continue comparing ourselves to one another and acting as if one lifestyle is better or worse than the other. You only lose my respect when you start victimizing yourself over your OWN choices, otherwise live and let live, and TRY to support one another. TC mark

Check out Ashley’s new Thought Catalog Book here.

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Ashley Twigg

Traveling event planner, Writes about life, love, and the hot mess happenings of a 20-something. To view her …

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