Mayer is ranked as number one and I am, in a word, thirsty.
‘Twas the night of black out drinking and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, you’re all still blacked out.
It took me a moment to realize what was happening. I felt tingly in places I didn’t know existed!
When you realize you hooked up with someone who voted for Trump
It’s not something I tell my friends about anymore. I don’t want to see disapproving faces. I just want your mouth on mine.
When I tell a stranger about a favorite memory, I’m inviting him back to life for a moment.
Combined with relatively clean eating, lots of water, and my very underwhelming work out routine, I lost 6 pounds and felt more like Me again.
Stay single until you meet someone who supports your dreams. Someone who owns a sleep laboratory and hooks you up nightly to brain imaging tools.
You have the coordination of a drunk person when you’re 100% sober.
Because at 2 am, last call was just announced and, these days, goodbyes are a little too reminiscent of death.