Thought Catalog
April 19, 2017

Dear Men, We Don’t Need You To Save Us

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What is the issue?
I’m Priscilla

This may come as a shock to you considering society is obsessed with turning men into these Prince-Warrior-Type Dudes who are supposed to swoop in and save us poor, broken damsels, but we, in fact, have existed before you tried to fix us.

Women are strong, complex, incredible human beings. Believe it or not, women don’t need you to save them.

Maybe you think you’re doing us dainty ladies a favor. Obviously, we need rescuing.

You’re so chivalrous! Speaking of chivalry, can we talk about that for a hot second? It’s an archaic idea we’ve romanticized to an absurd point. Chivalry isn’t as simple as being a good human being (which we should all strive to be anyway). Nah, it was birthed from the medieval system of knighthood. You know, back when women were property. Just things to be won or given away. That’s not romantic. That’s not GOALS. That’s outdated and rooted in misogynistic beginnings. 

And yes, yes, I hear you NOT ALL MEN chanters clamoring to assure me that NOT ALL MEN function under this notion. You’re right! And kudos! I’m relieved that it’s NOT ALL MEN.

But it’s some men. It’s the men who pride themselves on their nobility, on their deepness, on how sensitive and understanding they are of women. They see your soul! Didn’t you know that? They see past your flaws and imperfections straight through to your beautiful, beautiful soul. *Cue Jesse McCartney* (…Though I will 10/10 belt that song should I ever hear it again.)

It’s awesome that you believe in us. It’s awesome that you see our potential and think you’re the ones that can UNLOCK THAT SHIT.

Oh wait, no, that’s weird?!?

If you want to be an advocate for women, if you want to stand up for women, that means standing up for all women.

Not just the ones you want to fu — er, save. You don’t get to choose ‘the good ones’ because – NEWS FLASH – that doesn’t make you a feminist like you’ve been preaching to your Twitter followers. You don’t get to decide the Right Kinda Woman. Honey, there will never be a right kind. You’re diminishing human complexity. You’re grouping people together and stripping them of their individuality. ‘Good Girls’ have their issues just like ‘Bad Girls’ deserve your respect. And while we’re at it, let’s stop putting antiquated labels on women in the first place!

If you’re wondering what to do now, it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Women are human beings. Treat us that way. TC mark

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