October 5, 2016

5 Things People Suggested I Do After Getting My Heart Broken That Made It Even Worse

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1. “Get under someone else!”

Ah, yes, remember how Grandma used to gather the children around the fireplace and say, “Just remember, to get over someone, you must get under someone new!”

If this technique works for you, go nuts! But personally, I found it to do the exact opposite of what I was hoping. I didn’t feel liberated or satisfied. It made me miss the person I was trying to get over even more. You can’t just replace people. You can’t substitute a body and think – BAM – everything is going to be instantly better. Getting under someone new just made me want to be under my old person (lol, ew) even more.

2. “Get rid of anything that reminds you of them.”

This isn’t Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Unless you’ve woken up with a case of amnesia, you aren’t going to just forget an entire person or relationship. And sure, staring at photos of your ex on your phone or crying into their sweater because it still kind of smells like them isn’t necessarily great for moving on. But once I was not as fragile, I regretted throwing away stuff that actually held great memories.

3. “Stay constantly busy.”

I understand the concept, but it just put off my eventual grief. I was distracting myself, yes, but I wasn’t healing. And that has a tendency to come back and bite you in the ass.

4. “Try getting closure.”

This translated into me trying to contact my ex, who had moved on, and then feeling sorry for myself. If you’re trying to force closure, you should probably just leave it alone. Not everything gets tied up into a neat bow. Some things just happen. That’s okay.

5. “Come get drunk with us.”

When you’re fresh out of a relationship and still in the heartbreak phase, this is NOT always the best move. Why? Because there’s a solid chance you’re going to get a few drinks in you and end up texting the one person you reaallllly shouldn’t text. TC mark

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