5 People You Will Definitely Run Into When You Visit Your Hometown
By Ari Eastman
1. Your ex’s mom
You’ll exchange some awkward pleasantries. Maybe even hug. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s not great. You’ll discuss your job, your family. Assure her that everything is great. You might even ask how your ex is, and she’ll mention he/she has a wonderful career and just got engaged, and you’ll like, try not to cry.
2. The girl who tormented you in middle school
She looks the same. And you assume her soul is still DARK AND EVIL TOO. But she sees you and smiles, runs over to hug you. WE WEREN’T FRIENDS, YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL! But you’re so unprepared, you hug her back. You have some superficial small talk and she says, “We should definitely grab coffee soon!” You agree. And then laugh to yourself in the car on the way home. HA, NO WAY GIRL. NO WAY.
3. The crush who never noticed you
You had it baaaad for this one. Your notebook was scribbled with heart doodles and the cliche “Mr. & Mrs.” But your little heart would break as they would walk right past you. Not even a second glance. But now, NOW is your chance. You see them and this time, they look at you. And it’s magic. Until you see the significant other toting along next to them. *sigh* Some things aren’t meant to be.
4. That one creepy teacher
To be fair, you’re not sure if all those rumors that he would drop pencils so girls in short skirts would bend over were just rumors spread by bored adolescents – or if he was, in fact, a totally pervy creep. So you give him the benefit of the doubt and say hello. But then he stares at your chest the whole time.
5. The one person you really don’t want to see
Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And in this case, that ONE person you just can’t possibly imagine running into, oh rest assured, you will. You willlll. Maybe it’s an ex or someone you had a terrible falling out with. Whoever this dreaded person is, you’ll be strolling along downtown, enjoying a beautiful GLORIOUS day, and then BAM. There…they….are. Bonus points if you are wearing sweatpants and eating a chunk of cheese. (definitely never happened to me though)
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