It actually felt like I was at the airport, sending you off because you told me you had to leave. I thought I was already used to it but I can’t deny, it felt like the first time. I’ve been sending off relatives and friends at the airport and I already am familiar with that feeling, the feeling of letting someone go. It’s hard at first. You cry. But later on, it will all make sense. Later on, you will even have to question why you even cried in the first place. It’s okay. It’s actually okay to cry. We often see it as a sign of weakness but looking deeply through it, it’s actually a manifestation of strength. When you cry, you let your walls down. You show people how you can be very vulnerable and that is totally okay. Letting people see that side of you, most especially if they are used to seeing you okay, requires a lot of strength. Let it happen. You will thank yourself later on for doing it.
Whenever I take my family and friends to the airport, I know, sooner or later, they will return. They leave because they have to. But they leave, taking me with their thoughts. They will always come back. With you, it’s different. You will never come back. I should know. Because, I will never let that happen.
I will never let that happen because when you left, something else arrived. My acceptance of your departure turned out to be the connecting flight to the arrival of my genuine happiness. I welcomed its arrival with open arms and I’ve never felt this good for years. I will never let this go.
I learned to love myself so much I almost forgot about the pain. I learned to be happy without having to associate it with another person. I learned that I am so loved by the people around me. I learned that this is God’s plan. Most importantly, I learned that I don’t need you.
It may take months. It may take years. Mine took years. But no matter how long it would take, at the end of the day, you will always appreciate, understand and value your worth, not just as a woman but as an individual who deserves love and respect. One way or another you will wake up. You have to wake up and realize that ends do exist and they happen because there’s such thing as “better”.
I would like to consider this Valentine’s a lot different. We are used to celebrating it as a day just meant for two people in love. I myself celebrated it for years with someone else. Why? Because that’s what the society tells me.
Now, upon realizing things and becoming more mature about handling situations, I thought, have we considered to actually celebrate our love for ourselves? Cliché as it is before you love someone else, you should learn how to love yourself first. This realization finally came to me after all these years. I finally learned to love myself more than anyone or anything else and you know what, I’ve never felt this happy, this better. It ended because I was meant to be better.