I Could Have Made You The Happiest, And This Is What You’re Missing Out On

This is what it could have been like with me:

I’ll be texting you endlessly, but not so much that it will annoy you. Just enough to let you know that I’m always thinking about you. You’ll be the first one to know anything about me because I’ll be wanting to be first one to know anything about you. I’ll check up on you every so often because I worry about you. Because I’ll always want you safe.

I’ll buy you surprise gifts just because something reminded of you. Don’t think that I’ll make you look materialistic, it is just in my nature to do things that I think will make you smile. I’ll take you on dates you deserve, not just the generic types.

I’ll be spontaneous. We’ll go on adventures so we’ll have those ‘remember when we’ talks and because I’ll be wanting to take you everywhere – because it’s you who I want to be with everywhere.

I will never miss any of our significant dates and I will put so much effort into making you feel loved, not just on special occasions. There will be no great distance between us, I’ll come whenever you need me.

You will be my priority. My time is yours. I’ll make sure you won’t ever wonder if you really are my priority. You will be the only one I’ll think of. I will look for no one but you. I’ll be proud to have you.

I will not be ungenerous with compliments, I adore you and you need to know that. I’ll hold your hand anytime, hug you anytime, kiss you anytime. But only with your permission, because I respect you.

I’ll put you first before my pride. We might get into fights but it will never be hard for me to be the first to say sorry. I will always think before I act or speak, because even when I’m angry, I wouldn’t want to hurt you. No matter how furious I get I will never have an intention to hurt you, because to me you are precious.

I will be understanding. I will hear your side first before I conclude anything. I will give you my trust, anything you’ll say I’ll believe, anything others will say I’ll ignore.

I am loyal. I am faithful. It will be my mission to prove to you that I love you and that you are my only one. I’ll miss you the moment we are apart but I’ll let you have time on your own because I don’t want to be a reason to hold you back.

We will grow together, but I’ll also give you room to grow on your own.

I will love you. And you will never have to question it.

But now I am tired. I feel spent. I’m tired that people won’t choose me. Tired of people not making me an option. Tired of people losing me while I hold on so tight that I get burned.

They always say ‘you’re too good, you deserve better.’ If I’m too good, why don’t I deserve what I want?

So now I think I want to give up. And I’m sorry to the people who might look bad because they might be the reason why. And to the one who might make me change my mind, I hope you’re worth it, and I hope I’m worth it.