Thought Catalog
December 18, 2013

You Can Be A Successful Woman And Fall In Love

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My Best Friend's Girl (Unrated)
My Best Friend’s Girl (Unrated)

Today, I came upon the article of “Successful Women Do Not Fall in Love” via Twitter from a friend. After a phone call rant with my sister, I decided my best solution was a rebuttal to the article that I believe is a slap in the face to so many hard-working females.

So, who am I? I am a twenty-three year old woman who is, as the article so terribly describes, in love. Even worse, I am a married woman. Gasp, at such a young age! To add to this, I am a college graduate who is soon returning to school for a career in nursing. Oh, poor girl, must not have any dreams or ambition. Believe me, I’ve heard and seen the quick judgment before, even by friends, and enough is enough.

Today, when we’ve moved beyond the traditionalist 1950s and feminist follow-up, why must we feel that we go to extremes? “Successful Women Do Not Fall in Love” furthers traditional gender roles and over-simplified categorizations by declaring that a woman falling in love and marrying is a “sentence to hard labor…they cook and clean…brainwashed to take care of over people.”

Excuse me, but who the hell are you? I am a grown woman with my own dreams and ambitions, and I do not expect any high-on-her-horse woman to tell me that they aren’t good enough. I happened to meet and marry a man who I both love and consider my best friend and who pushes me to be whatever I want to be. I am entering a career in nursing, which as you explain it, is mediocre and self-sacrificial because I take care of others and thus I am not reaching my potential and placing myself center stage. By your definition, any woman who falls in love and finds a passion or importance in taking care of others leaves herself behind.

Judgmental women like you are what perpetuates harsh judgments and tension between women. If women can do anything they want in society, shouldn’t that mean that they should do anything they want, without critique from their female counterparts? If a woman wants to be a bachelorette CFO living in New York City her entire life, more power to her. If a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom in the suburbs to her five kids, who am I to tell her what is respectable and what isn’t? I am a firm believer that every person and job is essential to society, that everyone has their own strengths and skills. Last time I checked, success is entirely subjective.

Ms. Glass, like you, I want success, only my idea of success apparently does not fit yours. I respect that every person has a right to their own opinion, but I am sick of modern-day feminists classifying certain jobs and roles as lacking ambition. We are our own worst enemies, but women must stand together and support each other in their unique goals, not tear each other down. TC Mark