Date A Girl Who Is A Tadpole

Date a girl who’s a tadpole because she understands more than anyone that nothing is permanent. One day you’re heartbroken, then suddenly you’re in love, then suddenly you have legs. Life is short and brutal and you need a partner who can help you navigate this shrinking pond of a world. Her love will anchor you under a slimy rock. She will help you accept the fact that everything is in flux all the time also one day she will be a frog.

Date a girl who’s a tadpole because she is always changing.

A tadpole girl is okay with taking things slow. She won’t develop lungs until she is good and ready, and not a minute before she has legs. Even still, that doesn’t mean she’s not serious. When she decides she’s ready, she can absorb her tail outwardly into her body through apoptosis. Some tadpole girls can grow to just under 10 inches, the largest of any larval frog. She will love you fiercely. She will rock your world. She will subsist mostly on algae and small plants, but is also an opportunistic omnivore, sometimes feeding on dead fish.

Date a girl who’s a tadpole because she can mix it up.

This may or may not be important to you just yet, but you’ll be floored when you see what a natural she is with kids. She can oftentimes be found in a classroom, surrounded by adoring little faces, eager to learn. They love her immediately and are drawn to her like a moth to a flame, or a juvenile frog to a rotting trout head. They are fascinated with her wide eyes, sealed mouth, and warm heart. Little do they know that underneath the lessons on nature and biology, she’s also teaching them lessons of life and death.Their little hands seek her, and though she may wriggle away at first, sooner or later, she will be enclosed in the palm of their hand.

Date a girl who’s a tadpole because she will be crushed by an 8 year-old.

Want a girl who can kick back or play hard? You want a tadpole girl. If you want to lay in the sun, she can do that, provided there’s an inch or so of water. If you want to swim upstream, she’ll be right by your side, in currents slower than 10 mph. If you want to be eaten by a snapping turtle, she will beat you to it. There’s no limit to what she can do in at least an inch of water. You’ll find yourself on many occasions just looking at her, palm on face, in wonderment of this magical girl who keeps you guessing and is a tadpole.

Date a girl who’s a tadpole because she is many things.

A tadpole girl will please your body and soul in equal measure. One minute she’s debating Kant’s categorical imperative with your old man, the next minute she’s bending your body in ways you never dreamed of and is a tadpole. She’s a sexual dynamo who can speak Ukranian with your great-grandmother and is a tadpole. She can while away a whole weekend exploring every inch of you, then crawl out of bed to make a perfect bearnaise that doesn’t break she is a tadpole. She can go anywhere, be anything, and tad any pole. No other woman will love you the way she will become a frog.

You should date a girl who’s a tadpole because she is a tadpole.