November 29, 2016

The Hardest Part Of Breaking Up Is Actually Letting Go

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Unsplash, Jake Young
Unsplash, Jake Young

The hardest part about a breakup is letting go.

Not repeating his last name. Even though it’s doodled in your journal and tattooed on your heart.

Not wearing the slightly rusted anchor necklace he gave you. Leaving your anxious manicured hands nowhere to go when you get nervous.

Not driving over the bridge where he resides on his time away from school. But if you followed your heart it would still take your grey Mazda right on over the ocean on that big old blue bridge.

Not keeping all of his college t-shirts in your tiny wooden college dorm drawers. Only to keep their navy and burnt orange threads neatly folded on the top shelf of your closet.

Not traveling those 2,155 miles, just to see his face. Clicking the blue button and typing your mom’s debit card number.

It’s been over a year and I don’t say your name as much anymore. I haven’t seen that necklace in a while, but I still peak at it in my jewelry box from time to time. I gave back your t-shirts, except for two and I’ll still wear them to bed. I haven’t visited you at school, but I check the plane flights regularly.

I’m no longer hurt, I go to bed with dry eyes and a happy heart. The boys here at school do not compare to you. I’ve let a few in, however I have come to learn that you were one of a kind. We may have been right, but the timing was wrong.

Maybe one day the clock will tick in our favor.

I am no longer hurt, but I haven’t quite let go. It’s like you’re the crystal blue bond and I’m the fisherman. I’ll always keep my line in, because one day you may decide to bite. Trust me, I’d yank you right out of the water and make you mine.

I know I ought to be the strong one who gets up and moves on, but it’s the way I still want you which keeps me from letting go.

Give me back your last name, fasten that silver necklace around my neck, and stock my drawers with all of the t-shirts you’ll let me have. Wait by the drawer while I advance over the bridge going 55mph and let me spend the half a grand just to see you for a weekend.

The easiest part of you and I is holding on. The hardest part is letting go. So please bite my line, let our clocks align. Just put your smooth hands within mine with our fingers intertwined. If I had it my way, we’d stay that way until the end of time. TC mark

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