I always feel like time runs out so fast every time we’re together. We sit down and get lost in our conversations, without realizing that couple of hours has passed. I hate the feeling that we have to say goodbye and head back to our different lives.
In my mind, I keep hoping that we have more time to tell stories of our past, to share details of ourselves, and to make more memories. It’s funny that I’ve developed a separation anxiety during the course of our getting to know each other.
Sometimes I get worried about when I’m going to see you again, all the while forgetting that you are right there in front of me, talking, breathing, smiling. Sometimes I lose the ability to focus in my present, because my mind is flying into different directions and possibilities in the future.
I wish I could stop the hands of time whenever we’re together. Because I don’t want our time to end. I don’t want to be separated from you.
I don’t want to go home and incessantly think about you. I don’t want to pace around my room and replay the words that you have just said to me, in my head, over and over again. I don’t want to sit in my bed and make an extensive research about you on social media.
Because I am not interested in knowing you based on what I see online. I like to get to know you in real life, in person.
I prefer authenticity. I want to hear you speak, stutter, say something meaningful, something funny. I want to see your face, your reactions, and how they change depending on your emotions. I like to observe your nuances, your body movements, your natural way of expressing yourself.
I wish I could freeze my favorite moments with you, and stay in them for as long as I want. Because there is no place in this world I’d rather be than somewhere near you.
I want to hit pause every time I feel sparks inside of me because of the way you look at me. I want to relive the first time you said “I love you,” the first time we took a picture together, the first time we held hands, the first time you brought up your intentions of meeting my parents.
I’m willing to rewatch the sweet little parts of our story, again and again.
Because I can’t trust my memory to hold on to the details of them for a really long time, no matter how special they are. I’m afraid time is going to betray me and take away those memories. And I don’t want that to happen.
I want to preserve them in my brain, and be able to access them anytime I want. I need a reminder of why I fell in love with you. A reminder of all the reasons why you deserve to be part of my life.
I want to live in a world where time doesn’t matter. Time isn’t something we need to worry about. We will not grow old and be separated from each other’s hands. We will live to see one another every single day. We will take care of each other. We will not get tired of each other.
I wish I could freeze time because I’m scared to lose you.
I am not sure how I’m going to survive this life without you. Because you are the person I draw my strength from. You are the one I lean on when I’m having difficulty living, breathing, continuing on. You are someone I want to be with every minute of the day.
And you are the only person I want to get lost with in this world, as we ignore the hands of time ticking by.