Thought Catalog
May 20, 2017

I Want A Love That Doesn’t Leave

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What is the issue?
Anthony Intraversato

I’m used to people leaving. It’s no longer an issue for me at this point. I don’t flinch when people walk away — let alone be bothered.

People can do whatever they want, go wherever they want, be with whoever they want, and I’d still feel okay. It’s normal for me that people come and go.

But I don’t want you to be one of those kinds of people. I look up at you so much that I think you’re better than someone who makes leaving a habit. I have invested enough feelings for you to be convinced that you are worth the risk.

I have already made myself believe that maybe you are different than others. Maybe you are the type who loves without conditions. Maybe you’re the one who actually stays.

I’m willing to take a chance on you, see how far I can go, and know if I’m truly ready to fall in love again. I’m giving my heart the privilege to have a mind of its own, and let it make its own decisions. I’m letting my guard down after all this time, for you.

Please don’t lead me into believing that you have feelings for me if you’re not planning to be serious about it. Don’t make sweet promises about tomorrow if you’re not sure that you’ll be able to fulfill them. Don’t get my hopes up if you have no intention of catching me when I fall.

And don’t tell me that you love me if you’re going to eventually run away.

Love is a special word for me. I never say it if I don’t mean it. Sometimes I spend hundreds of days waiting, preparing, and rehearsing before I finally utter it to someone special.

Love, as I have learned, is a powerful thing that doesn’t deserve to be taken lightly. It doesn’t deserve to be used to mislead people.

If you’re planning to share your heart with me, know that I don’t play games with anyone anymore. I don’t have time for a love that isn’t real.

If you’re planning to be more than friends with me, know that I can’t make you happy all the time. Sometimes I’m going to frustrate you, annoy you, disappoint you, let you down, and make you regret for picking me in the first place. Sometimes I can’t give you what you want, and what you need, because I am only a human being who has limitations.

And If you’re not okay with my imperfections, if you’re planning to ghost me once you realize that I’m not the person that you expect me to be, then please don’t tell me that you love me.

I am seriously tired of people who don’t put values to their words. I am no longer amazed by people who only say wonderful things to get good reaction from others. I don’t have the energy to pretend that I don’t know the difference between a truth and a lie.

I love words so much that I can immediately tell if they carry meaning from someone who said them.

If you’re going to fall in love with me, I want your feelings to be real.

Not because I’m going to hate you if you’re going to go away, but because I want you to feel how incredible it is to say one thing, and actually do it. I want you to feel that you can speak through your heart and know that it’s for real.

I want you to believe in words and learn how they can make a huge impact to someone’s life. I want you to realize how important they are. I want you to love them, and never ever take them for granted.

If you’re planning to make me your one and only, I can’t give you a guarantee that your days are going to be perfect. But what I can promise you is that, I will always give you reasons to stay. TC mark