Thought Catalog
May 13, 2017

The Harsh Truth About Loving The Guy Who’s Taken

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What is the issue?
Timothy Paul Smith

If he truly wanted to be with you then why isn’t he?

Darling, you deserve so much more than midnight calls and late night texts.

You should not have had to wait for him to become available for you. Don’t you get tired of waiting for your phone screen to light up with his name or for that chat head to pop up after hours of mindlessly scrolling through your news feed, passing time until you finally get to talk to him again?

If you’re important to him – really important to him – wouldn’t he make the time to show you that you are?

Darling, you deserve so much more than late replies.

It’s the worst kind of torture, I know – getting stuck wondering if you’re ever getting a reply to the message you sent fifteen minutes ago in response to the one he sent merely seconds before that. It has become a game and you’re the one losing. It’s like you’re in a rollercoaster ride with only the highs and the lows, no middle grounds – he is with you all the way to the top but then he’ll be gone once you start the downfall and it’ll only be you crashing down to the bottom.

Darling, you deserve so much more than the constant wondering.

Why do you put up with it anyway? How can you let him get away with making you feel really special one second then leave you hanging the next? He is feeding you lies and empty promises and false hopes but that’s not even the worst of it – all his inconsistencies and mixed signals have made you doubt yourself. You let your worth be validated by the attention he’s giving you; you let your value depend on a person who only shows you he cares when it’s convenient for him.

Darling, you deserve so much more than stolen kisses and fleeting touches.

You deserve to be loved and not in the dark, not just in between sheets with the lights turned low and with everyone else asleep. You deserve to be held in pubic, you deserve to be shown-off. You deserve to go on real dates, to take pictures together and post cute shit online. You deserve to meet his friends and his family. You deserve to be a part of his life and not just as a secret. You deserve to have all the things he could give her but not you. You deserve to have him – all of him.

But know this, darling, he doesn’t deserve you.

And I know he says all these things – all these pretty little words that make your heart skip a beat and make you feel wonderful and hopeful at the same time and I know how much you want to believe him, I get that, I really do. He could be really sweet and make you feel like you really matter to him and that he really cares for you.

But the ugly truth is yes, you could be important to him but not all the time – and you deserve to be so much more than just being a ‘sometimes’ or a goddamn ‘maybe.’

And if this isn’t enough then ask yourself this: If he truly wanted to be with you then why is he still with her? TC mark