November 14, 2014

Confessions Of A 20-Something Male Virgin

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Even though I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, I would not classify myself as overtly religious. However, many of my morals are founded in Judeo-Christian ideology. Growing up really tests you and your ability to stay true to these values and what you believe. Going through college is the hardest test of your life. For most, it’s the first time you will not being living at home with your parents, so you will have a lot less rules. It’s the first time most will be exposed to multiple disagreeing view points.

Many people lie to professors about being sick and not able to come to class. Most people have have used notes on take-home exams. While these things are extremely difficult to avoid, the hardest thing I’ve had to in my was to make the decision that I wanted to keep my virginity until I met the one girl I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This decision was one that I weighed back and forth for most of my undergraduate career and at one point decided that I didn’t want to keep it and wanted to get drunk and lose it to the first person I met at a bar. Luckily I was going through a lot of personal issues and did not have the self-confidence to make this happen.

Many people ask two different things: why did you make this decision, and why was it so hard to keep this commitment to yourself? I made this decision because I believe that sex is something that is so special and even more special if shared between you and just one other person. Let me be clear that I don’t necessarily want to wait until marriage; if that happens, it does, but that’s not my main reasoning behind my view. Additionally, I don’t believe marriage is defined by a ceremony and a piece of paper. To me, marriage is a bond that you share with someone that you love deeply and want to spend your life with.

To answer the second question people ask, I have another question: have you ever tried being the only one of your friends to not do something? I sat around while my best friends, some of them who even said they wanted to wait until marriage, got drunk and lost their virginities in ways that they regretted. It was so hard being the only one who hadn’t had sex with anyone because after a while, I kind of felt left out and like I was missing out on a part of life. In today’s college culture, many people view sex as something that just happens and not something that should be special. I college, I struggled with depression and my first thought to make myself happy was sex, and I still find myself when I get in depressed moods think that I want to. I have dealt with rumors about my sexuality because I wouldn’t have sex. I’ve been called a prude and dealt with people saying that I couldn’t lose it was why I hadn’t. I’ve had my friends say that they want to take me out so I can lose my virginity.

A lot of people are ashamed of the fact that they are a virgin, and I was too for a long time. To be honest, it was very hard for me to actually put this out there for anyone to see. Now, I’m proud of the fact that I am still a virgin. Most people are shocked when they find out. I’m a 22 year old who was in a fraternity in college who now lives in DC, the city known for sex scandals. Nothing has really changed since graduating from college. It’s still extremely difficult to stay a virgin in today’s society. Ultimately, I’m happy I did. And in no way, do I judge anyone who didn’t wait or look down on them for not waiting. Many people think because I want to wait that I judge anyone who doesn’t. This isn’t true. I will encourage anyone to not have drunken, or sober, one night stands, but I in no way would judge anyone for what they do. TC mark

featured image – The 40 Year Old Virgin

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