I Am The Reason Why He Left You

Before you get down to conclusions I’d like to tell you the truth. I didn’t steal him away from you; in fact, you stole him away from me. I’m not clueless about who he is, about what he wants and I’m definitely not clueless about how much damage he can cause.

I know him like I know my fractions, like the first course of French I took two years ago, I know him like the smell of the rain and the shape and sound of my footsteps. I’ve gotten to learn every piece of him, even the pieces that he didn’t knew he had.

You met him in August last year. I also met him in August, two years ago. Bet you didn’t know that.

Now you’re talking about me every day as if you know me, as if you know my story. I know you go through my tweets and laugh at how “stupid” I am, trying to feel sorry for me but not being able to do it. Because let me guess, you think that I’m just some other girl that he strung along and after two months he’s going to start acting like a douchebag towards me and he’ll break my heart. That gives you a little relief, because deep down in your mind, you are hoping that he’ll grow bored of me so he can come back to you. You would totally take him back, don’t lie. You would, because you miss him, because you crave him, because nothing hurts you more than thinking that he already forgot you, that now he’s laughing with someone else, listening to someone else, hugging someone else, happy with someone else. With me.

You should’ve known better before you fell in love with him. He’s the kind of man who only changes once in a lifetime, only when the right one comes along, only when someone gets to see something in him that nobody did before, something good. He changed for me.

I guess that when something is meant to happen, there’s only so much you can do to keep from changing it. It will change anyway. It is meant to be.

And I know that I might sound naïve, but I know that he has changed. I know it because I can tell when he’s lying or when he’s only saying things he knows I want to hear. Now, it’s different. The tone of his voice changed but his essence is still there. The way he hugs me is different, I can feel it, like he wanted me to stay there hugging him for a month, a year. And the way he looks at me, I just know because I used to give him the same look. You know, the “I can’t believe that you chose me” look. It’s amazing, it’s wonderful. It’s real.

Still after all this, I wish the best to you. I hope that you find someone good, someone with whom everything will be easier, lighter. I wish I had that, but on the other hand, I know that you’re looking for all of this with him. It’s not there for you. And with him — I know that this is what I want. I don’t know all the answers but I do now that I saw good in him, I saw benevolence and humility when everyone else only saw a douchebag with a bunch of girls.

The best things come at the end. He told me that once. I guess he was right.