A Letter To The Midterm Girl

Hello there, I see that you’ve been crying and listening to your old-fashioned heartbreak songs. I see. Your list goes from depression-anxiety to #fuckyou/hedidntdeserveyou playlist. I’ve never met you, I’ve never heard your voice and I don’t know the way you walk, I have no idea if your laugh is annoying (which I hope it is) or if it’s beautiful and ravishing. I don’t know if your voice changes its tone when you talk to him. Mine does. There is no way that I know how you’re struggling with this. Maybe you cry yourself at sleep at night, like I did when you took away what I wanted the most, or to be precise, when what I wanted the most went away with you. I bet you crave him, I bet you’re craving him right now; it’s really hard to let him go isn’t it? Wish I could tell you why, what on earth does he have that you just can’t let go? Man, I don’t know. A year has passed and I still don’t know what it is. Anyway, I don’t know you and there’s a 99.9% chance that I never will.

I just wanted to tell you that you have to stop. I have no plans on being a thread to you, maybe I already am, but you don’t know that. It amazes me how you can’t figure it out yet. You are a girl, you do research and it is really hard to believe that you haven’t come to conclusions at this point. But whatever, I think it’s better this way, maybe when you figure this out your heart would’ve healed, and you will no longer feel pain.

Forget it, pain will never go away, but this I can assure you, you’ll feel less pain. So here’s the thing, I’m going to write this to you as if we were friends.

I’ve been there and I know the struggle. I know how horrible it is to see him pass by with a smile on his face like he never met you, like he never loved you. I also know the struggle at night, because at night everything is worse. At night, you miss him even more, and at night, you remember. You know every single tone of his laugh, or maybe you don’t, but I do. You feel like the time you spent with him was long enough for you both to develop something special and let me tell you that it wasn’t. I know these words are going to hurt you, and this is not my intention at all because, if I wanted to hurt you, trust me, I would do it. I could write things that would break you up into a million pieces and all your memories will go away with the sense of lies. I don’t want to do that to you, because as I said, I’ve been there.

But I want you to open your eyes and move on, he has changed. For my best and for your worst. When you realize this you’ll think that I stole him from you, that I took him away and that the only reason why he wants to be with me instead of you is because maybe “I’m funnier, prettier, skinnier, smarter, etc, than you” That’s not the reason. Here it goes: his mind has always been with me. You don’t know the story behind and I’m nobody to tell.

You need to give yourself the value that every woman has, stop calling him, stop looking at his last connection on WhatsApp, stop going through his Tweets, stop going through my Tweets, stop looking at the pictures that you both have together, pictures that destroyed me inside out two months ago, don’t delete them, they’re good memories that you have with him and even if your friends tell you to do it, if you don’t want to delete the memories, the goodnight texts, don’t do it. But don’t go through them, the only person that you’re hurting is yourself, not him. Please don’t say YOLO and text him “I want you back” while you’re drunk. Please don’t. He’ll not answer what you want to read. He won’t go back, he’s not that type. I’m not saying that what he did to you was okay, because it wasn’t. But he did it, again and because you let him go through your door once again. So now’s time to face the consequences, it’s going to be hard, you’ll miss him like you never knew you could miss someone. Every single thing is going to remind you of him. To me, even the smell of the rain reminded me of him. You’ll start seeing him in the street, his name is going to pop in your favorite TV shows and your friends are going to ask you about him.

You’re going to be okay. Stop waiting for his good morning text, it won’t happen. As soon as you accept that you’ll be better off everything will become easier. It’s a daily struggle, I’m nobody to tell you advice and I can feel that you’ll hear a lot about me soon, and you’ll think that you hate me more than you’ve hated anyone in your life. Get ready to feel that. But you won’t hate me, you’ll hate the idea that I have what you want. Like I did when you had him. This may sound like a battle of who wins him. It’s not. At least, not anymore, I’ve surrounded a lot of time ago and now he came to me but not because I asked him. Destiny is such a strange game and I haven’t figured out that yet. Just remember how much you’re worth it, and that maybe, it just wasn’t meant to be.
Midterm, after me but also before me. Stop crying your eyes out. Heartbreak is a complicated process. But that’s what it is. A process, and just like every process there is a beginning but there’s also, always, an end.