10 Things That Definitely Weren’t Meant To Have Pumpkin Spice

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I’ll be the first to get excited for pumpkin spice coffee once fall rolls around. I love pumpkin-picking, and pumpkin pie is OK on Thanksgiving, but that’s really where it ends for me. This year more than ever, America has taken pumpkin spice to a whole new level. It needs to stop.

1. Vodka

No one could possibly want pumpkin pie vodka, but Pinnacle made it a thing. You can really buy (and no doubt throw up) pumpkin vodka.

2. Bagels

Why, though?

3. Clif Bars

These things are barely tolerable on a good day, in a normal flavor.

4. Tortilla chips

Let’s get something straight: These were made to scoop up mass quantities of guacamole. And that just doesn’t go with pumpkin.

5. Pop-Tarts

No one should have to start their morning this way. No one. (See also: pumpkin pie Toaster Strudel, the superior Pop-Tart)

6. Gum.

Extra makes it possible to be pumpkin fresh after all your other pumpkin foods.

7. Marshmallows.

These come in flavors? Isn’t marshmallow a flavor of its own?

8. Hummus.

This one there’s really just no excuse for.

9. Soda.

Pumpkin pie soda, to wash down the hummus and chips, of course.

10. Coconut milk.

Another one that shouldn’t even need a flavor.