Thought Catalog
March 15, 2017

Stop Letting Yourself Be ‘Just Friends’ With Someone You Want To Be More

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What is the issue?
Toa Heftiba

You meet a stranger who soon becomes familiar. You never imagined what would come of this but they’re soon a close friend. The universe and of course some alcohol had other plans for you.

You do the generic “It was just a one time thing” and brush it off until you find you’re repeating your encounters a few times now. “We’re just having fun”, “It’s nothing serious”, “We both don’t want anything more”, “I am not going to get hurt” “We’re just good friends” and many such declarations later you know there’s no escaping, that you’re in too deep. Maybe this was how the universe planned to get you two together in the first place.

You spend all of your time together, and enjoy each other’s presence.

There is a comfort in being with each other. You get closer and closer. You “get” each other like no one else has. Intimacy is beyond just laying together. You both together are magic. What you have could not have been experienced by anyone ever.

Could this be what the cliched “soulmates” are? Are you two the perfect pieces that go together? You both sure know how important you are to one another, but you are still “just good friends”. This is something so deep & so real & so effortlessly surreal.

When you’re so transparent to each other, then why are you still “just good friends”?!

“It’s not the right time yet”, “We’re too young”, “We like how things are going”, “We don’t see this becoming anything serious”, “We’re just having fun”, “We’re just good friends”.

Sometimes to convince others, sometimes to convince yourself.

You both want the same things, you both want each other.

Stop blaming time, stop trying to save yourself, stop holding back.

Just for once be vulnerable, be honest, be what you want to be. And be all this now.

Later you’re both going to be in different places, different times, different circumstances, and that’s when you will realize what you had. That’s when all that you felt once will mean so much more.

You will seek this all your life. You will seek it with different people, in different places, at different times; and hope that the same feelings will be there & that all that love, passion, compassion and ethereality will come back.

You more than often re-visit the memories you had when you were “just good friends”. If only you actually did ever become more than that. Would you have worked out? Would you both have been happier than you are now?

Should you have just said that you want more? Do they too remember you the way you remember them? Do they too wish that it was still you next to them?

Unfortunately, you can now understand the whole deal with the one that got away.

Looking back, it’s probably the one that I let slip away in being “just good friends”.

So if you’re reading this at your “NOW”, then I hope that you will
Stop blaming time, stop trying to save yourself, stop holding back. Just for once be vulnerable, be honest, be what you want to be. And be all this NOW.

Stop being “just good friends” NOW. TC mark