December 21, 2015

We All Deserve To Find ‘The One’

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What is the issue?
Leo Hidalgo
Leo Hidalgo

I’m the girl who thinks every guy I go on more than two dates with is “the one”. I’m the girl who tells her mom after a mere week that this is it, that we should start planning the wedding and picking baby names, that I finally found the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Everything is rainbows and daisies and smiles.

For a little while at least.

Until things change. It’s a subtle change, though, nothing too obvious. The rainbows lose a little bit of their color, the daisies start to wilt, the smiles droop slowly downward.

And suddenly I’m not so sure if he’s the one. Suddenly I stop asking my sisters for their opinions on honeymoon locations and instead ask them for their opinions on his flaws, on our relationship, on our now rocky future.

I don’t end it though. I don’t quit.

Because while maybe he isn’t the one, he could be.

And that is the most dangerous path to go down in a relationship. That is a path that leads to months of breaking up and getting back together, months of red flags obscured by hot makeup sex and happy date nights, months of pretending like everything is fine.

That isn’t love. That isn’t what fairytales and dreams and rom-coms are made of. That isn’t what you should have to settle for.

You (and I!) deserve the one. We deserve the one who loves us for all of our flaws, for all of our little quirks, for all of who we are. The one who doesn’t mind if we steal all the covers and who thinks even our no-makeup, pillow-creased faces are beautiful.

So stop staying with the guy who could be the one. Stop convincing yourself he’s right, stop giving him unlimited second chances, stop being ok with good enough. Just stop.

People who are married always say they just knew their spouse was the one. They can never explain what that means, they can never pinpoint a moment or a feeling or a sign.

And that’s what I’m looking for, what we should all be looking for. To just know. No more settling, no more trying to change every guy I date into what I want them to be. No more forcing something that’s wrong just so I can have a ring.

Instead I’ll wait, as patiently as the last single girl in her friend group can wait, for my one. For my soul mate, my other half, my future husband, whatever cheesy name you can think of. I’ll wait for when he looks into my eyes on our first date and I don’t think twice.

I just know. TC mark

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