Thought Catalog
May 19, 2017

A Part Of Me Still Feels Broken

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What is the issue?
Haley Phelps

There’s a shadow looming over me
A sadness still, with no reprieve
Love was shattered
Piece by piece I am surrounded in disbelief

There’s a large part of me that still feels broken
Almost like drowning, consumed, and choking
I feel incomplete without you
What is this aching, when will it leave, as you did
So callously, so easily
I realize that sometimes I’m reckless, a damn hurricane
There’s times when I’m needy, downright insane
There’s days when you adored me, and others when I should have taken the blame

But even so, why do you get to take a piece of me
While I’m left alone here, nowhere else to be
I wish I could say this was my choice
But through this tear stained face, I had no say, I had no voice

If I slow down or sit too long in the quiet
My heart will start to speak
I cry out for you, God, I am so weak
I am a mess, you are a mess, I wanted to be whole with you, yet we quickly became a pile of pieces
A dumping ground for all our grievances

Sadness washes over me
I’m drowning now once again, no place out that I can see
I barely sleep
To slow down, to stop to breathe, I’d have to remember the pain once again
Knowing your love is something I cannot keep
Maybe someday, I’ll forget you
The illusion my heart was fooled by
Maybe someday, I won’t regret you
I’ll have woken to a peaceful state of understanding, of why this all took place
Knowing some types of love cannot breathe the same air
Cannot resurface, or be forced to care
I can love you from a distance, maybe you’ll do the same
I long to believe our love wasn’t a mistake, neither of us solely to blame

Please release this hold on me
Please, I no longer want to grieve
I’ll miss you today, maybe a little less tomorrow
Just give me some time, for now let me enjoy my genuine sorrow. TC mark