My future, once laid out like a colorful map on a child’s restaurant placemat, is now as muddy and dirty as the face of a world-weary hobo. I am in a swimming pool that is lit by youth. I am weary, I am old, I am sailing on a boat made of newspaper, and like the medium itself, I am sinking.
Here are 10 reasons why ghosts are fucking dicks. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, because I totally did. I could go on about ghosts forever, those dicks.
Sometimes you’re merrily skipping through life when you suddenly stumble and trip and that’s when you wonder, “Wait, am I total fuckup?” We all have moments when we trip and fall. Some of us fall harder than others.
Scandal is one of those shows you hate watch. Maybe it began as true love, and then the more it went on, the more you realized, “The f*ck is this?”
Capricorns are very prudent signs.
So you’re dating an Aries (born March 21 – April 19) — it’s business time.
Geminis are, in a way, easy to date, because you can just let them do all the talking.
The Aquarius, born January 20 to February 18, is a popular sign in the Zodiac, in that the Aquarius is likely to have many friends and acquaintances, in part due to their ability to really hustle.
You know when David Bowie sings in “Modern Love”, “I know when to go out…know when to stay in…get things done”? He may as well be singing about a Taurus.
When choosing your place for a date, don’t pick anything too expensive; Cancers tend to be thrifty.