Thought Catalog
April 10, 2017

When You Realize It’s Been An Entire Year Since Your (Incredibly) Terrible Breakup And You’re Still Breathing

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Eli DeFaria

You’ve made it. Every month on this day you knew what tragic anniversary it was. You’d think “wow it’s been x months since the day.” – The day you felt everything around you shatter as you stood still in pain, for what seemed like an eternity.

Well I am here to say congratulations.
You have officially made it 12 months. A long time. In fact Earth has rotated 365 ¼times around the sun since your heart was broken. Something like 130 million babies have been born.

You made it through those first few weeks when your chest physically hurt and your friends tiptoed around you – terrified to say the wrong thing. You should thank those friends – they really were your backbone when you felt scared and alone.

You made it past the one month mark when you felt like maybe things were going to be okay but everything reminded you of him.
You thought he’d be there forever so four straight weeks of no contact seemed nearly impossible. But you made it.

Maybe you made it through school or a new job and learned things about yourself you’d never know unless you were single. You’ve met at least 10 new people you really consider friends – people who weren’t even in your life pre-breakup. These are people who will only ever know you for who you were post-breakup. There is something extremely satisfying about that.

You’ve had sleepless nights where you tossed and turned with thoughts about being unwanted and feeling rejected.

You’ve learned who your real friends are as some really stood by your side and others drifted when things got hard. You realized who you were independent of someone else and realized you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to. You don’t need the approval of any boy or anyone for that matter.

But you’ve gotten stronger and have taken back your life. You grieved the loss of someone who you thought you knew and have tried to forgive yourself for believing in someone who couldn’t help but to hurt you. Mostly you’ve tried to let happy memories stay happy memories. You’ve realized you can’t let the past few years become obsolete. Those years helped to shape you – you can’t just delete them.

You made it through the impossible. TC mark