35 Things That Are Worse Than Being Single On Valentine’s Day
1. War
2. Famine
3. Disease
4. Death of a loved one
5. Euthanizing animals due to shelter overcrowding
6. Delivery guy bringing you the wrong food
7. That piece of skin that sticks up between your nail and finger and when you try to peel it it ends up tearing off more of your skin
8. Canker sores
9. Cankles
10. Getting your period in public
11. Having the zipper separate on your favorite dress
12. Ripping off a belt loop trying to pull your jeans up
13. Craving a sandwich and only having end pieces of bread left
14. Trying to be antisocial but your phone is dead so you have nothing to pretend to do
15. Being followed home at night by a whistling stranger
16. Clicking the ‘X’ instead of the tab of something you were letting buffer
17. Sending a very inappropriate Reply All to work/a charity site
18. Dropping your last piece of gum
19. Getting kicked in the face by a goat
20. Leaving a baby on a bus
21. Finding a random baby on a bus and then being forced to keep it
22. Not being able to press a letter on your keyboard because there’s food stuck underneath it
23. Racism
24. Inverted eyelash
25. Being hunted like The Most Dangerous Game
26. Finding food you forgot you microwaved 3 days later
27. Having to poop at your friend’s tiny studio apartment
28. Having that weird skin form on your soup
29. Pinching your finger in that spring loaded trap while trying to replace a roll of toilet paper
30. Being kidnapped by a cartel
31. Swallowing a pill sideways
32. Abnormal pap smears
33. Sneezing more than twice in a row
34. Accidentally drooling while speaking
35. Having to spend the day with someone you hate