Honesty is a fucking bitch.
I’m sorry but it is.
We sit around talking about how much we want honesty from another person but when it comes, when honesty comes back and hits us right in the face hard, the only thing we want less of is honesty. Why?
It sucks when the honesty isn’t what we want to hear. It’s that plain and simple. Every time we work up the nerve to tell someone how we feel and they come back with rejection is when we wished we didn’t say anything at all. Every time we stand up for ourselves and then have to then defend what we’re saying is when we feel ourselves start to waver.
Living your truth will be the hardest adventure you will ever take. It will be one full of rejection and pain but it will also be filled with other things.
Love. How can living a life of honesty get you love? It will make you stop wasting time on the wrong people and start spending it with the right ones. We’ll no longer live in ‘what ifs’ and start focusing on the sure things. I know when it comes to love that there really isn’t any sure thing but I know that if you’re honest you will be closer to finding your person.
You deserve to be with someone who allows you to be honest with them how you feel. About anything.
Whether it’s your feelings or what you want for dinner, you should be comfortable expressing what is you want.
You’ll get real authentic friendships with honesty. Nobody wants to be friends with the person who tells us what we want to hear. We need to be friends with the people who tell us want we need to hear. At the absolute worst time, we need our friends to be completely and utterly honest and that requires being able to give the same in return.
I’ve been questioned a lot when I express this view because people view honesty as only black and white.
Honey, we don’t live in a world where there is a right or wrong answer on how to handle your relationships. We just don’t. There’s no guide book that will guarantee what you’re doing is more correct than someone else. You have to decide what honesty looks like for you. That also means what kind of honesty you’re going to accept.
You’ll also get strength. There is strength in being totally honest with yourself. It’s letting those icky feelings that you pretend don’t exist out into the sunlight. Letting them see the light of day is the best way to start to deal with them. Internally will start to happen.
When you admit who you are and you’re honest with who you want to be, that’s strength.
It sounds so easy but it really isn’t. That kind of honesty is brutal and harsh when you have to really look at pieces that aren’t so polished.
While I’d love to sit here and tell you that I know what authentic honesty feels like or what it feels like to live my truth daily. Well I can tell you honestly that I’ve just recently started to live in this truth. It took 15 years of counselling to manage a crippling fear of rejection in order to start living honestly.
I can tell you this though. That first step towards being honest with someone or yourself is the biggest, scariest and best step you’ll ever take. You’ll live through the rejection. You’ll live through the fear. You’ll live through the anxiety. And you’ll be a better person for it.
So do yourself a favor and start getting honest. Always live your truth.