Thought Catalog
April 18, 2017

These Are The Best First Messages To Send Over Dating Apps

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What is the issue?
Pexels / JÉSHOOTS

I’m going to roll up the sleeves and crack the knuckles here. I think this is generally an area where I excel. Sure, I’m on a dating hiatus, but before that, I was on a holy fucking terror of binge dating the likes of which were mildly, if on not entirely unimpressive… Whatever. Fuck off, will ya!

So first impressions matter, as we’re told. That’s great, but how does that help you?

The Point. Get to it. Quickly.

We live in a world where we consume tons of information and make decisions in the blink of an eye. So it goes with online dating. Say “hello” and get her attention. Familiarity helps. Saying something funny and non-threatening is good, too.

Example 1: Hey there! Liked what I read here and saw you like Game of Thrones. Red Wedding… W.T.F!!!?? If you haven’t seen it, spoiler alert, everyone dies!

Example 2: I read through your profile and I gotta say, only my Freshman English Teacher made more use of the Oxford Comma than you. Oh, my name is Alex! Grammar snob at your service!

It’s Okay to Bring the Cheese.

Women like to be pursued, they like being chased and romanced, fawned over etc. Duh. Your mileage may vary with the cheesy approach; but if done well, you’ll display a sense of humor and a tender heart. A lethal combo if ever there was one… But it’s also easy to edge over into creepy/needy guy. Don’t be that fucker!

Example 1: Look, you owe me 99 cents because your profile melted my heart like a snickers bar in a pocket on a hot summer’s day.

Example 2: Between your profile and your photos, I have to say, you might be the prettiest girl in this part of the internet…

Or just tell a joke…

Example 3: How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool…

Appeal to Her Interests

Okay, you’ll see a huge number of women who like the same shit as you. Great! Right? Right! But you don’t want to be a fanboy. You don’t want to be a puppy dog following its master around all day. It’s great if you find a woman who likes the same weird shit you do. But don’t overdo it here. Simple acknowledgments go a long way, playa.

Example 1: Hey there. I’m Alex. Totally dug the profile, you seem cool. Gotta say, hiking Half Rim was such an escape for me. How did your hike go? Let’s chat sometime.

Example 2: Hi! I noticed that we share a love of the ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!’ (not really). =) – But seriously, we seem like a lot of the same movies/beers/things/shit etc.

Be natural and poke fun, but don’t be creepy or needy but also be concise and to the point.. Most importantly have FUN! If you come off that you’re having fun, you’ll seem like fun. Real fun. TC mark

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