How many times have you seen a random person in a cafe all by themselves either reading a book, working on their laptop or simply just enjoying a cup of coffee, lost in their thoughts? And, immediately assumed they are lonely? Or gone on a trek or a camp with your friends, where you came across another such person who is all by themselves on the trip and assumed the same thing about them?
And now how many times have you thought about it. Like actually thought about it? That maybe there are people around you who simply enjoy their own company and prefer spending time in solace and are not really lonely? Maybe you are one of those kind of people or you know someone with that kind of bravery.
Either way, I think the meaning of being alone is completely distorted in most people’s mind. Being alone is not when you are absolutely devoid of relationships and friends. It is not being left alone. It is simply a matter of choice. It is when you have learnt to accomplish the most difficult and distressful thing in the whole entity.
It is when you learn to find solace and enjoy its company. Enjoy your own company, which not many people can do without tearing their own mind to shreds.
Being alone is like meditation. Where you realize and get to know yourself. When all your senses and feelings come alive and start to tell you things about you and the world around you that you never knew. It’s finding yourself.
And everyday that you wake up and see the real world, meet new people, visit old places, your senses and reality get smudged with some smoke, some fresh air. And at the end of the day, when you spend time all by yourself, you filter out all the smoke from the fresh, clean air and cleanse yourself again.
That’s what being alone is. It’s a masterpiece. It’s hard to achieve. It’s loving yourself and not being scared of spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself. It’s connecting with yourself and loving your flaws. Only then, you can expect others to love you.
A person who loves spending time alone is not a coward or a lonely introvert. That person is indeed the bravest of all.
Brave enough to bear their own thoughts and accept them without simply dodging and avoiding them away with the company of others.
If you embrace your solace, your space, you embrace your good qualities and flaws and then no matter what others say, you will always know yourself and love yourself. And you wouldn’t need to depend on others to make you feel loved.
Once you get comfortable with your own mess and silence and all the paradox, you’ll accomplish the hardest thing in the universe. You will love yourself.